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Earlier this week Kuroi went out to a venus we used to frequent. Spotted someone attractive. A few days later Kuroi went back, saw this person again, and it dawned on Kuroi that this person was paying attention. Kuroi told me about it. Told me it must be overt for Kuroi to have noticed. Kuroi...

:) It's a secret. >.> J/k They are colors in Japanese. Murasaki - Purple Kuroi -Black Momoiroi - Pink Not sure which others I have used, but I put a color to each person before writing about them here. I chose that as my theme in this forum, but I use other themes else where. Doesn't have to...

Emotional weather Currently feeling rather dowish. I can't say that anything has happened recently to trigger these feelings, but I'm at that, "I don't FEEL good" place again. So I'm off to get some exercise. Momoiroi and I have a play date with each other when I get back. Kuroi suggested I...

I do not claim to know or understand the life of a solo poly person. To me “solo poly” refers to a person who does not live with any of their partners, and keeps their relationships as segregated as possible. I make guesses about how life from the perspective of a solo poly person works, but...

Kuroi and I currently have no issue with being out. My work environment isn’t such that “office parties” happen, and Kuroi has only meet a couple of the people I have worked with over the last 10 years. Each of those people we were out to. Family is another matter. The family who visit us...

I was willing to once again give the benefit of the doubt until I read this part. Passive-aggressive? hahahaha You cracked me up with that one. I shared this with Kuroi, who also laughed and said, “No I’d call you aggressive-aggressive. Nothing passive about you. Well outside of the bedroom...

For the record I made that suggestion because reading your remarks gave me the impression that they were geared towards a married couple seeking a single. Which on the surface does seem to fit in your situation. I also felt that your wording was more looking at things as the Married couple being...

I agree wholeheartedly. I am also not quick to “trust” especially when sex is involved, or anticipated. I need a solid friendship before I find myself feeling comfortable getting sexually intimate with another person. Sometimes this takes years. Well Kuroi took more than a year for our...

Deciding to Date - Discussions So far the only information I have shared about the structure of my poly is that Kuroi and I were poly in High school (without realizing we were poly). And that our poly as married with a kid started with me as the hinge, became a triad, then Kuroi became the...

Doh, I read this at work, and kind skipped over it when making my response. Sorry about that. This sounds like you are phrasing your answer towards unicorn hunters. That’s not necessary. Although that is where a lot of very valid concerns surrounding couple privilege spring from. Actually you...

I’m gald you got to answer my questions, I’m about halfway through your blog, and I know you have a family life that your poly needs to be structured around. I get this completely. To me saying not now is not say no never, and leaves room for discussion. I believe I’d have to let go of some...

Yes you can view my questions this way. However if I remember right you are one arm of a V with a married? So consider the questions from that perspective. Do you live with them? do you have shared monetary responsibilities? What expectation do you and your current partner(s) have with you? In...

Golden Nuggets By the way, if I had not already found the thread you are refering to I would have started looking for it upon being informed that there is such a thread here. For someone newer to this forum, the sticky title for that thread is "links to other threads worth reading" it is...

Yes I have read a large portion of the threads in the "golden nuggets" Master thread section. Some of those threads are much older, and are no longer actively being talked about. And yes i have also noticed that a lot of the post I am interested in reading turn into arguments that derail to OP's...

In some ways I wish this sentiment was more prevalent in the poly world. Seeing things from the point of view that it is harsh to ask a mono person to "suck it up", "get a hobby" so that the poly person can enjoy the love of multiple people. Realizing the harshness of these statements should...

I have read some of your story, and do recall that you prefer to have very very few people around during labor and delivery include your SO's. So it makes sense that this preference is for all medical issues. I actually very much appreciate your poly style. It is closer to what I prefer. I...

Your original wordning did sound rigid, that's why I asked more questions. I didn't want to assume that what you were saying was a hard line, and not something that have room negotiation. If no kids are present, would it not be a possibility for N to see if his other partner wanted to have a...

What exactly are you referring to here? What do you think I have said that invalidates the needs of a possibly date? Anyone I accept a date invite from, or ask out on a date will know that I am poly, married with a kid. Depending on where, and how we met they will likely also know quite a few...

What if the new partner wants to negotiate for another sleepover? Would you consider the new partner spending the night at your place? (Kids might make that unrealistic depending on how you handle introducing partners to your kids) Maybe a hypothetical would work. Say the kids are spending the...

My OP is referring to how new relationship affect current (older) relationships. And how older (current) relationship affect new ones. There is an effect on both. I understand that people already apart of a set Polyship are going to be considered when negotiating wants/needs within my...