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Hey everyone - thanks for the comments. A bit more information: when this first came up, I was concerned this was a some kind of semi-permanent proposal. It turns out this was a 2-day closed arrangement (now over) formulated so my girlfriend could have the piece of mind to figure out her...

Has anyone had the experience of temporarily closing an open relationship when someone is having a really difficult time? I'm not talking about a few pangs of insecurity or jealousy, I am talking about crippling emotional meltdowns where one of the partners can't function at all. This has...

Yea - that's almost the same for me except I can usually do FWB for awhile - particularly is my lover is another man, does not seem to apply to my female partners. Historically though, I generally loose interest in a fe weeks, if not days. You know - I'm looking back at the situation, and I...

It seems like some parents have a well-honed skill at shaming their children for not following what they think you should be or do. That does not strike me as the unconditional love I would expect to see from good parents. It does not surprise me to hear they were abusive. I never got a chance...

There is a large poly dating pool here in the Bay Area - I am very lucky in that respect. In your experience, is that NRE a requirement to fall for someone? I suspect it might be so for me. It is certainly feels like it. Right now, despite what she is saying to me (she wants an intimate...

Hello everyone - wouldn't mind getting other takes on my current situation. For a bit of background, I've been practicing poly for just under a year now, with mixed results. I still struggle with a mono-centric mindset and regularly have to deal with some uncomfortable emotions like...

If she says she can't share, maybe she really can't. For what it is worth, every time I have tried to change someone, it blew up in my face. In hind sight, this would have happened less if I had listened to what the person was telling me instead of hoping they were mistaken. I would be pretty...

When I use the terms primary or secondary on this forum, I'm not referring to some heretical order - it is unfortunate there is an inherent ordering for numerical terms. I use those terms more to easily convey how much time I spend with lovers. If I see someone during the week (sexual or not)...

This keeps coming up and I keep forgetting this. For about 15 years, I had exclusively dated men - who I have an easier time understanding emotionally, dating woman is a fairly recent thing. Funny thing is that the way woman process does confuse me - and it also is something I find powerfully...

Ok - here is a gem: I got this one after I changed my status to single: This one at least read some of my profile: But I have saved the best one for last: - this requires some context to appreciate: this came from my partner of 7 years, who I'm fairly close with to date - he got 5 stars...

I've been doing poly for about a year now, before then I've only had monogamous relationships. Your perspective isn't screwed up - it is pretty familiar to me. In my own experience I have begun to recognize how deeply programed I have been towards monogamy, and I am in the process of...

OK - main squeeze, then. It is a term she used, and it fits what I'm looking for. Yea - that make sense, I can see how drawing a comparison like that is counter-productive. My goal isn't to drive a wedge. When I look for a relationship between how I behave with my other romances and how I...

I would love to hear other member's take on my situation. I'm fairly new to poly - I've been trying it for about a year, so this is all still fairly new. Last week I met a girl on OKC and we hot it off really well, easy to talk to, good communication, etc. We both have very high libedos, and...

I think that is the key: only asking the question when I am willing to accept any answer, regardless if it it the one I would prefer. The other half that rings true is deciding if the answer works for me, and if it doesn't, moving on instead of trying to pound a square peg into a round hole...

OK - I can see what you mean there. The feeling fuels the perception of competition, and I can see how scorekeeping doesn't lead to a healthy relationship. Yes - me as well. I don't want someone to be me because they want to be with me. I can't make someone want to be with me - I have tried...

All makes perfect sense to me - not as easy as it sounds in practice. I would add the following: making a determination if the dynamic as a whole is working for you, then exercising the decision to either remain in the relationship or no rather than trying to change the other person. I'm...

I think I can embrace my partner having other partners. I will go even further and say that it is likely that my partner could have a partner that might provide her with something I can't. But what was messing me up was that she was spending 7 - 10 days in a row with the new guy, and I was...

I have fairly simple questions to ask - although I suspect the answers might not be as simple. How do you know if a polyamorous relationship model is right for you? Is it possible to develop the qualities needed to be successful at polyamory? For that matter, what are these qualities? So why...

I don't have a Christian background, so I don't have that issue. Honestly it may take me a while before I am completely fine with polyamory, but the issues I fell disturbed over are feelings of insecurity and (sometimes) rejection. I don't think I can make the call until I have worked through...

A triad really appeals to me, but I can easily see how my inexperience would likely have led me to more than a few of the pitfalls in the article. I am so glad to be reading this now - before screwing it up. Question: are unicorn hunters MF couples looking specifically for a bi F, or does it...