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Poly-Joy Not sure if anyone reads these anymore but I started writing them I may as well keep going with it, even if it is sporadic. March, well, it’s been busy again. This year just seems to keep flying by. Guess this time I’ll start with updates on things mentioned in my last entry. My...

January and February (3) And I’m not done yet! This is going to be several posts long I think by the time I’m done. This last week has been very rough as well. While I’ve not been given any shifts this week at work, it seems to have worked out being good timing. On Tuesday my grandmother fell...

January and February (2) Those two things bogging me down I ran into my first major poly obstacle about a week ago now with John. Beth had introduced a friend of her from our MMO we all play, I’ll call her Jenny, and asked John to do Jenny a favour by playing a part in a roleplay for the game...

January and February (1) Okay so it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything well I’m not really the best blogger in the world never was a person who keeps journals but I’m trying. January was also a very busy month for me and February, well it’s kind of flown by as well. January between the...

December and Ringing in the New Year (2) These conversations and situations have been like a breath of fresh air to me. It has felt freeing and reassuring. I say reassuring in so much as it has felt right, and I’ve felt no regret or negative emotions at all, in that poly is who I am, not that...

December and Ringing in the New Year (1) So first of all happy new year to all. Wasn’t quite what I’d expected, in fact the 1st itself was rather miserable, but I’ll get to that later. It’s been a very busy month for me, so busy I’ve been meaning to post for a while now but just haven’t found...

The Healing Process Thanks everyone for your kind words, they mean alot. It’s been a while since I last posted, I’m a terrible blogger. It’s been a bit of an up and down month. Since Bob decided to end things, I have been in the process of healing, though I feel I’ve made very little progress...

It's over...(2) I thought I was going to be somewhat prepared given my expectations of high failure chance going into the discussion, but part of me still clung to hope, and I guess it was that part that made it so hard. At the end of the conversations Bob said some things that greatly worried...

It's over.....(1) It has been a very rough month and in particular a very rough past couple of days. My family was visiting Bob in the US and Bob was calling me on the phone to give me updates, which was not something I was ready to deal with, but had to to make sure my family was alright...

Entry 4 Things with John and I are going well, as usual the issue lies with my relationship with Bob. My Grandmother and Mother have been visiting with Bob for over a week now, which has led to Bob calling me on the phone to update me on how things are going. I do have caller ID so I know it...

Blog 3 part 2 With his statement about not compromising, to me I view it as him never being able to accept or embrace me for what I am, and it breaks my heart because I do love him very much and don’t want to lose him, but I also know I can’t be that dutiful, good Christian monogamous wife that...

Blog 3 Looks like this entry is going to be acouple posts long again as I have inadvertently been putting it off, so sorry in advance! About a week ago I went to the women’s poly group. I had a great time, and there was alot of support there for me from other women who are poly as well. I...

What to do and how to do it? I am feeling rather down today, and though perhaps sharing things here might help me a little. Things with Bob have been complicated. He is still hanging onto me and wanting that monogamous relationship with me that would be too confining for me to handle. So here’s...

I was hurt, I felt betrayed by my mother, things were getting better for me, and I was beginning to make sense of what I needed then it all came crashing down around me again. At that point I once again began to think I was crazy, that something was wrong with and considered counseling, but then...

Things went along and I tried to ignore it, thought it did not go unnoticed by others, the new mutual friends I had made via John, the attraction between John and myself. He himself didn't even realize it until one of them pointed it out to him. Once he realized it though he tried to hide it...

Let's see, where to begin....I've never been very good a writing journals of any kind, but I thought that this couldn't hurt. I will try and post updates as things happen, though likely they will not be daily updates, but I will check for comments, feedback, advice etc, daily. There are several...

I called of the wedding. I hurt Bob, very badly, and as such I am hurting more than I can handle. I begin to wonder if I should have just forced my feelings for John away and sequestered them, to hurt myself rather than hurt Bob. I would rather hurt myself than anyone else. Last night was very...

I told Bob. It broke his heart. He wants a monogamist relationship that I can't give him. He hates John. Through it all he was willing to accept me as who I am, but without John, because of how he is wronged by him. He has asked me to not speak with anyone about this or to John at all until he...

The thing is I've only just discovered I can love more than one person at a time. John was the first occurrence of this. John understands my feelings and worries for me that things might break between Bob and I if I do not tell Bob the truth, but I know Bob will not understand. I didn't even...

I am a woman who is engaged to be married soon before Halloween this year, but I am finding myself in crisis and am tearing myself up over feelings which I do not know are normal or not. My fiancée proposed to close to a year ago and I could not have been more excited about it. He is kind, has...