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Yep Precisely. I would have issue with someone FORCING a partner to break it off with even a PERCEIVED cowboy/cowgirl. But when Marcus said in a poly relationship you can have NO influence in a partner's life.... I can understand that being a style of poly, but not mine :)

Question Perhaps we have different communication styles. Is anyone else confused what I mean by wanting involvement with my partner's personal/dating life? This is a different topic than the one I originally posted, but it caught Marcus' attention.

Hmmmmm Hmmm, well, for one, you're assuming that an "intimate relationship" means the same thing to everyone. I've certainly had occasions where I was approached by someone who said they wanted an "intimate relationship" with me, and I THOUGHT, like you, the above definition was what they...

Answers Regarding your first point, hmmmmm. Basically, if my partner is dating someone, I would take interest in their other dating partners. Who my partner dates affects me, and I would want some involvement, even if it's just knowing who they are and what they're like. The way you phrased...

Question "A cowboy telling IV "I want to be with you exclusively. Leave your other fellas and bask in the glory of blah blah blah" has nothing to do with me. That is a choice presented to IV and she would need to decide what to do with it (IV views the idea of needing to choose one relationship...

Very fair points And that's certainly your right in setting up the boundaries you're comfortable with. Myself, I would not want to be with someone who was actively trying to take my partner away from me, either....but I would not be angry with that cowgirl/cowboy. But I certainly wouldn't...

Agree with you I agree with what you've said here. I think the fact is, poly has the potential to get very complicated, people may not always know what they want until it's too late...but I guess my point still remains firm. If I'm to be happy being poly, I have to trust that my partner will...

Hmmmmm Upon further reflection, I change my mind about this being you wanting too much and giving too little. I think this is simply a case of "She's not that into you." It hurts, but I think that's probably all there is to it. In other words, it's not you, it's her. :p

I was browsing a thread, and came across a concern about cowboys/cowgirls. Where the poster stated something along the lines of, "We (as a couple) approve each other's other partners, in order to avoid that person thinking they can steal our love away. We do not allow that kind of thinking...

Ok, hold on I'd like to feel sorry for you, but you haven't given a whole lot to work with. You want a woman to commit exclusively to you, very well. But committing to a couple, as a single woman (or man), is tough. You're constantly being told by others that this isn't healthy, you're being...

Timeline So...if I'm understanding this correctly...you started dating a new woman, a relationship that's lasted a year....all while you had JUST had kids...and twins, at that.... It sounds like you started dating this new woman at the same time you and your wife were trying for a baby. My...

Hold on, please I understand you feel defensive, but these people are trying to help you. Your tone in the post, granted that's not you, that's just a specific instance of yourself, comes across as very dependent, nervous, insecure. Please understand that. No one here knows the details, they...

Problem? Why doesn't the hubby just spend that time with a girlfriend? Or, if he currently doesn't have another relationship, going out doing things where he might meet someone, OKC dates, whatever?

Heh Yeah, if your kids are teenagers, they totally know what's going on. No need to explain. hehe

Availability Oh, and I realize that probably would cause me to miss lots of opportunities. I know there was at least one person who said their partner would NOT have approached them if they'd worn a ring on first meeting. So, for them, it worked out (though I'd like to imagine that the person...

Not important? Okay, so like most threads, this one got unraveled on several points. It seems that many people here don't consider the rings to be that important, it's the relationship that counts (seems to be common theme, especially with poly people). I can get behind that. My only real...

sigh...maybe read my WHOLE post...I know it's super long Love.how you cut.off at that particular sentence.of mine, totally missing the.point.

don't be ridiculous Of course not. I'm saying I would never date someone who needed to see a ring as a reminder that myself or a partner were married. I'm saying my.only concern is what strangers would think, and I doubt I could ever date a married person who wouldn't consider my feelings in...

A different thought Everyone on here appears to be concerned whether the person they're looking to date is okay with their ring or not....would you really want to give the idea to anyone interested in you that you were single? To me, the question is, what about outside parties? If you're on a...

Open relationship Personally, I find relationships where it's all about sex to be more open than poly. That is not the kind of configuration I prefer, though I get that it appeals to others.