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Venting Actually, I'm on LR's side. It doesn't sound possessive, just like she's frustrated. And doing the integrated thing, versus segregated, well, there can be a lot more at stake. Especially as the potentials start becoming involved with the kids. You can't just cut off the relationship...

Selfishness? Seems like the other girl has made her needs clear....and your husband is trying to push her anyway...and making you uncomfortable in the process. There are other poly situations where she could join and have children within the polyship. Perhaps he should encourage her to go...

Definitions Very much so. Everyone has their own definitions of terms. With as varied as things can get, this is bound to happen.

That's fine, but accusatory statements are not helpful in continuing conversation. Calling me delusional is inflammatory, not sincere.

Thank you. Was starting to feel ganged up on.

ugh I was trying to give an example. That's literally all. I was really hoping for constructive advice, not judgments. But thanks for crediting me with new terminology :-)

Wow, judgmental community much?

What? Having agreed to date him? It's not a "dating idea," it's a new partner for you. If you aren't comfortable with it, knowing there will be tension with his wife and your husband, don't do it. You haven't signed a contract ;) Or, you know, if you have, that's cool, too :) If he's...

not selfish If that's who you are, few people will tell you to stop. Perhaps they'll find other partners, too. But if they don't, are you prepared for one or both to eventually leave you for a monogamous partner?

moving You may have to move around to find a bigger community.....not necessarily...but possible. Would you do that?

Terms To me that's not a threesome, that's just group sex.

No thanks I'm really not, I'm not getting anywhere with this thread.

I'm not dumbfounded. I just don't see where the distinction is. If you're straight, but you sleep with both genders, well, are you really straight? I suppose you could occasionally try it, but if you aren't sexually attracted, doesn't seem like it would be that enjoyable. Also, do lots of...

Don't think it's so weird Yes, most do date independently. Say, I have a boyfriend and I'm bisexual. Do we both have to date the same woman? Of course not. But would it make it easier to develop a relationship as we might all have time to be intimate together? Time always being an issue...

Not all about you Also, no one said this was about you. A bisexual woman (switch genders, not really important) could be viewed as a threat by a straight woman. It happens.

Well, no, but why not? Honestly, I find the idea of straight people having threesomes odd (everyone can't fully enjoy each other, or I guess, they could, but then, what's the difference between being bi or gay or straight?) But that wasn't really my point, and I don't understand why it keeps...

Actually As a matter of fact, this question (the original post) was posed to me by someone else. I thought her view was valid, or at least worth considering, but apparently she is alone in that-- no one on the forums supports that idea at all. Additionally, many people come here with concerns...

Forget about guys? Men can be bisexual, too :) MMF and FFMs can both involve that.

Wait Of course it doesn't. It could be all girls or all guys. Who said threesomes had to be mff?

Baby steps Honestly, if you truly want to be a part of their lives....that can be a big commitment, even on YOUR part....maybe keep expectations low at the beginning? You may feel you want to ease into it slowly, to be sure this is what you really want....