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    Reinvestigating ENM

    That seems like a very honest, very real thing. He's identifying himself as ENM, not polyamorous. He has commitments that limit what he's able to offer new people, realized you want something he's not able to offer, and made sure you knew. Sounds like he can find time for some fun sex and...
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    Remote-Controlled Toys & Long-Distance Lovers—Who's Played?

    I've tried a lovense toy. It did not work for us. It had to be reconnected to the app every time we used it, and then then it would randomly disconnect which made it unreliable. We knew it was a long shot since I'm not a huge vibrating toy person anyway, but it was a fun experiment. This was a...
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    V relationship with two siblings?

    Just really think this through is my only advice. If you bring it up again and Hibiscus is really uncomfortable or upset... family gatherings may well be impacted. If you date Evergreen, and it doesn't work out down the road... your ex is at every family gathering. Ouch. If you do work...
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    About to marry into a throuple

    Separate/overlapping vs straight shared blankets help, so everyone can stick a leg out for temperature regulation too. Honestly though... I agree with others that you should each have a bed big enough for two in your rooms, in case sleeping all together ends up not being super-feasible at...
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    About to marry into a throuple

    3 people CAN fit in a king, but there are a lot of variables. Whoever moves the least and can handle the most heat should be in the middle. I can't sleep in the middle, otherwise I wake up in a puddle of sweat and my entire body hurts from feeling like I can't move without disturbing two other...
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    Does opening up to only same sex relationships lead to opposite sex relationships?

    Generally, these policies don't work. It's hard enough to find someone you're compatible with that is also open to polyamory. I have only ever seen gender=specific agreements lead to resentment.
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    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    We saw a condor when we were at the Grand Canyon about a month ago! It was so cool to watch
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    Ethical poly? Need advice!

    Has a DNA test been done? She's lied about conception dates/pregnancy... what's to stop her from lying about paternity? In Tree's position, I would want to make sure the child is actually mine before moving forward with trying to get Rose and child back in state.
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    question on dating sites

    There are two main reasons I personally always asked when someone is looking for when i was online dating: 1 - A lot of people make the profile then never update their answers. 2 - Different people interpret things in different ways. If you say you're looking for a long term relationship...
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    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    It varies. Some are solidly unicorn-hunting couples. Some are seemingly egalitarian. Some have OPPs or are only open to additional partners of the same gender. Some of the coupled people are actually only open for the women to date because the man has no interest (or realized his prospects...
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    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    I do think much of the polyamorous experience depends on location. In my area (a small city in Oregon, nowhere near as large as Portland, but not a rural town either), a not insignificant portion of the polyamorous folks I encounter are racist, bigoted, orange man supporters. There is a solid...
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    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    FWIW, I've always thought that the letters were just a description of what comes next. I describe my relationship as a MFM vee. It's not prescriptively closed, so I don't say closed. When one of my partners IS dating, I'm still in an MFM vee. 🤷‍♀️ I might change that description to an N or W...
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    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    If the argument is that equal rights for women = feminism, then yes. In monogamy, men and women have the same rights-- the right to exclusively be romantic/sexual with one other person. I don't think polyamory is feminist either. Even well done polyamory. I think it's a relationship structure...
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    Talking it out

    Saw my ex on a dating app. It was like a punch in the gut. He is so fucking cute and a bitter part of myself that I try to keep buried is pissed that he appears to be doing well. In reality though... I'm content. I love my partners and my life. I do wish him happiness. But dammit. Why wasn't...
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    Events/holidays in a parallel poly relationship

    I think taking turns makes sense. Also, a lot of extended family events are on alternative dates vs the actual holiday so some balance might be possible if the person that is in 2 relationships and feasibly attend events with both partners. If it is the person with 2 partners whose family is...
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    Polyamorous divorce for another partner

    Do you want to be with your husband at all? Yes? You need to talk to him and figure out how HE would handle a legal divorce too. No? Then divorce him. Not for your bf, but for you.
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    Talking it out

    The holiday season was amazing. Hubby, LG, and I visited extended family a month or so later. Then Hubby had to spend about a month with his parents and siblings to set up in home care, medical appointment plans, and general caring for 2 elders with health issues (previously only one had big...
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    I NEED HELP. I'M GOING NUTS. SIGIGHGHHHHH;:! [UPDATE]

    I get being frustrated by the timing of the conversation, but I don't know why you'd think it was out of line to develop feelings in general. It makes things much less messy in THIS situation, for you to not crush on his partner. But in general, will it be a problem if you get another crush...
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    Sensing resentment of our poly “rules”

    Honestly... I would never recommend anyone agree to this. It's a recipe for resentment, and if it's already happening NOW, imagine what it will be like in a year or two. Why is it okay for your single women friends/family/acquaintances to come across your profile or see you on a date with...
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    Are you into Relationship Collage or Relationship Complete?

    Complete. I have certain needs in romantic relationships. They are the same basic needs even though they can be met in different ways by different people. If someone isn't meeting those needs, then the connection isn't sustainable and I will end the relationship.
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