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Are any of you in in counseling (individual, couple's, or group)? Editing to add context for my question-- this feels like a "relationship broken, add people," situation which doesn't work unless the broken part gets fixed. You talk about the distance between you and Cookie; the stress of...

I get tested anytime I need blood work (which is usually annually). Same for my partners. None of us have had new sexual partners in years at this point. When any of us are having more frequent new sexual partners, we get tested more often. Like quarterly or anytime a change in risk level happens.

Oooh maybe we need to add relationship elevator vs escalator? Escalator = go to the top or jump off to start at the bottom with someone else in the future. Elevator = choose your destination anywhere between the bottom and the top.

Did she enthusiastically consent to 50/50 or did he tell her that's what he's doing? Telling her doesn't really give her a chance to enthusiastically consent, just like her not communicating about wanting to date men AND women didn't give him a chance to consent. Basically this entire situation...

But why is it okay for him to change the rules but not her? Why is it ok for him to date other women but not her to date other men? My entire point is that he has incredibly unfair expectations. You are quick to judge his wife for changing rules but don't seem to have the same judgment for him...

hearts - wants monogamy Partner - wants a OPP (one penis policy)/mono-poly (monogamous for others, poly for him) Wife - wants polyamory The wife is the only one satisfied with the current relationship structure. Your partner MIGHT be, if he works on his own jealousy/insecurity, because his wife...

You do realize that just because you aren't speaking up while he's with someone else he still knows how you feel, right? If YOU are pulling away (which is fine if you don't want to be with a poly person), then he's likely going to notice even if you aren't blowing up his phone or being dramatic...

Things to discuss: -safer sex practices (testing schedules, sti prevention, pregnancy prevention if necessary, etc) -scheduling - do you have kids? If so, tack on a lot more discussion about division of labor when it comes to scheduling dates with others. Do you have dates scheduled for you two...

His wife doesn't MAKE him do anything. He's an adult and chooses to meet her needs for phone calls on nights not spent with her. He chooses to limit time with you. He chooses how to handle his relationships. It sounds like neither you nor his wife are actually enthusiastically consenting to...

Or the other way around. What if you two start dating, and he decides he no longer wants to date cousin? It would be easy for her to blame you (even though it would clearly be his decision). Also, how would your extended family respond to you and your cousin having the same partner? Or would...

My husband and I started dating in high school. During a normal conversation about fantasies and such, we both admitted that we thought lifelong monogamy would be at best impractical and at worst impossible. We started out swinging as a couple then being more sexually open before learning more...

Why is it that she has "boundaries" but you just have boundaries? That feels a bit unfair to me. Disdain for your meta comes through every post whether it's intentional or not. Why? If you don't want to worry about her, don't. You do you, let her do her. Her stuff doesn't need to be mentioned...

There is a whole thread here on why women tend to prefer not dating married poly men. It's mostly about options and resources, though. Add in that many poly women (myself included) have had negative experiences with wives of partners either issuing an ultimatum or just generally having bad...

"Hey, spouse, I know you're interested in polyamory. I am too! I'm not really comfortable with continuing down the road with this couple, though, since they are not interested in what we originally agreed to. I feel like the situation would be really hard on me if you continued to date them...

So, here's my perspective, as someone who started my journey into nonmonogamy through swinging. Your wife is honestly just asking for heartbreak if she pursues this couple. (Obviously, this is all my opinion.) First-- they're comfortable asking her to date independently. Are they going to each...

How expensive is semi decent insurance for just you from the marketplace? Hubby and I spend less than $20/ month (both of our incomes are shit so we get discounts - this would depend a lot on how much DarkKnight makes). Our deductible is only $3500 for each individual. If we both had absolutely...

Honestly the entire polycule sounds full of drama. Kate asking to keep the meeting a secret is weird, Biff being cagey and dishonest is a red flag, and pftsh's blaming of Tiffany's age instead of actually focusing on Biff's dishonesty is just... icing on the drama cake. I get being nervous...

It is unrealistic to expect everything to be even in triads. Bee might just have more sexual chemistry with Apple, and while that's not fun to watch, it's not an indicator of his feelings for you. The insistence towards equality for all of you is going to hurt in the long run. I'd recommend...

I ended up getting sick again 😆 So did LG. We're better now though, which is perfect timing for the holidays! My house has smelled delicious and been a constant mess all winter break. So many crafts, baking adventures, and celebrations. It's my favorite time of the year.

Demi Lovato is an example I can think of. They came out with a great song, 29, about their relationship with what's-his-name that was on That 70s Show. He was 29 at the time, and Demi was 17 when the relationship started. At the time, they were very vocal about it being super healthy, wonderful...