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Thank you. That helps a lot, especially the conversation to have with Wind on how he wants me to be with other relationships. Wind is not oversharing. The new information was an Ah-ha after Leaf said something about that time/agreement. Nothing Wind has said has been an issue. It's just that in...

Thank you. I intend to mention that I have concerns if he would like to hear them, and then tell him basically what's in the first post. I won't try to make him see what I see, but I feel wrong about not giving him the opportunity to hear what I see.

Oh, yes. I completely get this. I did use the wrong term. We made an agreement and he also made the same agreement with her. The new info I have learned is that immediately after their conversation, she was manipulating him to change/not abide by the agreement. (Based on the timeline, it was...

Sorry, I know the vagueness is hard. He doesn't overshare about Leaf. He just happened to have a specific conversation with her about a boundary he and I had agreed to, and she agreed. He updated me that we were all on the same page. Then in my time spent with her I discovered she was more or...

Thank you. The suggestion to mention I have a concern then let him take it from there is great.

I appreciate it. He's not easily led or influenced. He's actually quite the opposite. I think this is where I started sensing that this was an issue is that almost every time that he sees her he returns if not just a feeling of full of joy and full of love, but also this agitation or...

Thank you. They have been seeing each other for about a year. We (Leaf and I along with Wind, as well as some decent one-on-one time with Leaf alone) have spent time together on several occasions (full days up to a week). I struggle with providing enough details because this seems so oddly...

Let's call my primary partner Wind and his partner Leaf. They are still fairly new. I've felt less joy and excitement for him in this newer relationship than in the past. After spending some time with Leaf, I think I've identified my negative feelings. I believe she is using him. I don't...

I see that my post has been hard to follow, but thank you so much for your reply. For clarity, my husband is the one having romantic feelings for someone. We have talked in depth and we want our relationship to continue as primary, but with the restored deep connection and sex that it is...

Thank you. Your reply is spot on.

Thank you so much for sharing all of that. It is very helpful. In our situation, we have been living a poly-like lifestyle of sorts for probably the last 10 years of our 25 year relationship/marriage. We just never had the words for it, before becoming connected to friends in the poly...

Sorry, yeah, I'm in the primary relationship. Attempt at some ambiguity went a touch too far. That is exactly what I am experiencing. Depending of existing intimate relationships really exposing cracks in the primary dyad.

Help me think through this. My instincts tell me this is a bad idea. The primary relationship is lacking in things for both partners. Primarily deep emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy. Both are satisfied by all other aspects of the relationship. Relationship has been open to intimate...