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Do you mean within each relationship, or more like scenarios when everyone is in the same room? My boyfriend and I are the kind of couple that's really physically affectionate out in public and whatnot. We're always holding hands, standing around with our arms around each other, etc. My husband...

RP, I'm pretty much the same way. I'm not very touchy-feely until I'm pretty close to someone, but once I am, I'm a super cuddly person, with both friends and lovers. Even when I was monogamous, my husband always knew that there was no way I would ever give up snuggling with my friends, male and...

I never feel the "I'm doing something wrong" variety of guilt, but occasionally feel the "why do I deserve all of this awesomeness in my life?" kind of guilt. Rationally, I know that great relationships are not luck, but a product of hard work, honesty, mutual respect, etc. But I still can't...

The funny thing to me about that (and I've totally heard the same stuff) is that monogamous relationships lead to utter catastrophe and heartbreak plenty often, too. I've also heard so many times people say they believe a poly relationship *can* work out, but it's really unlikely, and really...

I don't know what the appropriate point is to consider something a success story, but I was monogamously married for over 7 years (and together for a total of 13 years) before we opened things up, and I've now been with my boyfriend for over 6 months and everyone is doing just fine. Honestly...

I'm a more or less straight female; I've had one sexual experience with another woman and have never been in a relationship with one. It's not something I'm closed to the possibility of in the future, but also not something I'm concerned with actively pursuing. My boyfriend is bi, and that's...

I understand your point about "why upset the GF about it if the ex isn't even interested anyway?" But I think perhaps it might be wise to take a broader view of the situation than thinking strictly in terms of this particular relationship you want to pursue. To me, being poly is rather similar...

This is exactly what happened for me with my husband after we took the leap into poly. I had really been struggling with my level of desire for him, fearing that the way I loved him had evolved into more of a friendship-type love. But once we were no longer monogamous, I felt my passion and...

To me, the biggest con of NRE has to be the insecurity that accompanies it. My boyfriend has never, ever done anything to make me feel insecure, has probably in fact done more to make me feel secure than just about anyone I've ever known. But I still spent a decent amount of time those first few...

YES! I don't know if it's possible for me to give a "reason" why I'm poly as it isn't really something I decided to be so much as it's something I could never really deny. The main things that lead to actually living this lifestyle instead of trying to repress it were: 1. A realization that my...

It seems like this might be an unpopular opinion, but I've always imagined that many people who cheat *are* wrestling with the fact that they're poly. I never had long ongoing affairs before my marriage was poly, but I did become involved in a few short-lived situations with friends over the...

I think it has a fair amount to do with stereotypes of men and women. Men are so stereotyped as commitment-phobic, just wanting to get some, etc. I think when a lot of non-poly or non-poly-aware women encounter poly men, they assume the whole poly thing is just a fancy justification for not...

I knew what poly was--and that it accurately described me--for quite a long time before I was actually involved in a poly relationship. I had broached the subject with my husband multiple times over the years, though I always backed down and stopped short of being insistent that it was a part of...

In my experience, genuinely wanting poly and believing wholeheartedly in the ideology of it doesn't mean that all discomforts just get switched off immediately. In my case, I'm the one who knew I was poly for years and tried to steer my husband in that direction, and now that we're finally there...

Makes total sense to me, and is maybe one of the best summaries I've read of my own feelings. It's precisely because each relationship (and the way I feel about each relationship) is so unique that I find monogamy impossible. If it were all just more of the same feeling, I don't think I...

What's done is done, but in the future I personally would wait until checking with your guy before making contact with a girl he's interested in. I know everyone has a slightly different dynamic in that regard, but I know it would bug me if my husband contacted my boyfriend without talking to me...

I tend to pretty much always use terms like "open marriage" or "non-monogamous" with people who aren't at all familiar with what polyamorous means. I don't think it's just some kind of easy way out, especially when you're going on to explain the details of your particular situation. When I use...

I think it's important to realize that equality in this case means each person being free to do what feels right for him or her. If it turns out to be polyamory for you--and your gf is able to truly embrace that--and monogamy for her, that isn't a lack of equality. It's a situation in which...

This is interesting to me, because personally I'm capable of having sexual desire for friends while still loving them in a way that's somehow different from the way I love a significant other. I can easily conceptualize the vastly different kinds of love for boyfriends/girlfriends vs...

This is pretty much exactly how I feel, too. On the one hand, I do think that people can have their minds opened to the possibility of being poly. Especially because we have such a monogamy-oriented culture, many people have simply never considered it. But on the other hand, I think a large part...