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Lots more to think about indeed (and not to worry, I don't feel attacked or berated)... When I first realized I was wired as a poly I was already 7 years into my second marriage (with "A"). I'll admit that my discovery had been spawned by a severe disparity in our sex drives...I've been told...

At this point in time, I'm going to enjoy the upcoming visit at the end of the year for what it is...spending the New Year holiday with "M" and our mutual friends (I'm staying at the friends' house, not with "M"). Even if it turns out that we discover we both have feelings for each other (hey a...

I'm not quite sure I fully understand the post by Dirtclustit either, but the gist that I get is that I'm being encouraged to follow my heart regarding how to handle my relationship(s) and not be influenced by what others tell me is the "right thing to do", which may or may not apply to my...

Oooh, very interesting things to think about with ownership of body parts. I'm having a little trouble with the idea of it being equated to slavery though, as that implies that what we're doing is totally against my will. Nothing could be further from the truth on that, although I suppose the...

Discussions Have Heated Up... :( Things indeed got complicated pretty fast once I broached the idea with "A" of relaxing the "no PIV rule". Not quite a total meltdown (which wouldn't have surprised me if that happened) but I think we may have stumbled on something that's very sacred to him to...

And I Continue to Ponder... Wow, again I am in awe of all the great input I'm getting. Already you guys have made me re-think some of my own pre-conceived notions of what it means to be poly as well as having a partner who is mono. This is definitely an education process with a huge learning...

I know we can't have a contingency for *any* possible situation, but I've been almost bombarding "A" with a lot of "what if's" (and he's been doing the same). I'll admit that his mind is a lot more open than I would have expected, but he does have a ways to go before he's ok with the idea of...

More to Think About... A lot more to think about for sure... I like the idea of putting a time limit on the veto power...I hadn't thought of that angle, but it makes more sense than it being invoked when I'm past the "point of no return" in a relationship with someone(s) else. I'm really...

Point taken, although that brought me up a little short with calling them "disposable" because that's not how I see it nor how I would ever want it to be perceived. I will never enter into any relationship (nor take the existing ones with "M" and "T" to the next level) if I don't believe I can...

Thank You For the Welcome! It's so nice to finally be in a place where I can talk about this openly and not feel so "closeted" as I do in the real world. "A" and I have had many discussions since I became aware of my growing romantic feelings for two other men -- often he feels a little...

Hi All! Brand new to the forum today but SOOOO glad to know that I am not alone in what I was surprised to recently discover about myself, literally within the last 4 months. I've been happily married to my DH (I'll call him "A") for 9 1/2 years (I'm heading for the big 5-0) and love him dearly...