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I will suggest the idea of two places! That's not something we've discussed but it could be possible. And I think it would suit myself and meta. I have no idea how my partner would feel but it's worth thinking about for sure. I'm not sure I've actually used this boat metaphor with him before...

When metamour first moved here from out of state a couple years ago, that was the idea. She wanted to buy a place of her own in the neighborhood after she was settled (she's in a small apartment nearby at the moment). At that time I think everyone was thinking it would be "her house" and my and...

That totally makes sense and I appreciate your perspective on it. It could well be this is how he's looking at it and we're just using language to explain our feeling very differently. This came up when we met a counselor for possible therapy (which he ultimately wasn't into, unfortunately)...

Totally, merely a personal statement. I think I'm conflating "mono privilege" with something else - like if he built a home (figuratively) with meta I don't think I'd mind at all. So it's not that the home itself = mono privilege, as you say. It's that, unfortunately, I think our home is the...

Thanks for your reply! And yeah, when I really got past the "new place, bigger place, this sounds fun" excitement I really had to question whether I wanted it. And I don't. Unfortunately, an earlier idea (like a year ago) was that meta would buy a small house in the neighborhood that was just...

First of all, thank you so much for your detailed reply. It's VERY helpful and clarifying. I ended up telling him this weekend that this isn't something I want right now. I don't yet know where the chips have fallen, he felt blindsided and said he had to think about it some more. I've...

I'm in a decade+ relationship with my nesting partner. We started off mono and became poly about 6 years ago, after much discussion and reading.TBH we did it for the wrong reasons (sexual incompatibility) but we've actually done a pretty decent job making it work. After a lot of growing pains...