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I'm so sorry! I didn't word any of that right if you thought I was trying to change your mind or that I thought you were trying to get me to change mine. I respect how you feel and I can even understand how you feel.

I understood that your original post was strictly your feelings. And the quote here helps me better understand your position and feelings now. I guess I just needed a bit of clarification. While I don't know Redpepper's true feelings about sex, I have a feeling that mine align more with hers...

Let me ask...you've known and been friends with them a total of 3 years? And it has taken you well over 2 of those years to become committed to the poly relationship? So, if the answer to those questions are yes (that's the way I interpreted your post but asked to make sure) then, things are...

Mono, you have to know what an inspiration you and your love for Redpepper are. The mindset for monogamy and polyamory are so very different in many ways. The fact that you love her enough to live so far outside your comfort zone is awesome. I admire you. Now, I just have one question for you...

Maca, I was just explaining to someone at our poly meet and greet last night...everyone has to figure out what makes this type of relationship work for them. Once you do, though it is a hard and painful process at times, you are more than proud of the growth that has been...

ORE...yeah, I like that and I'm lucky enough to have that. Gator and I have been together 27 years and married for 25. Tech and I will reach 3 years since we met in January...while still learning about him, I think I have a little of the ORE with him as well. I agree, there is nothing like the...

maca, that's basically how I handle things in general and all I went through in the beginning of our poly relationship. I imagine putting each of the hurts in a box and would try at times to take them out and deal with them when I was in a better frame of mind. There were times I could barely...

Thank you so much for all your encouragement. I try to remember that I live this life and it took me a while to get my head around it as well. Redpepper, I hope your family comes around to at least not causing the three of you to doubt yourselves soon. It was an advantage that all my family...

They haven't treated me differently since I told them. They love me and I know that. They are just concerned. I think I wish they had asked more questions or something.

Well, I did it, finally. I told my mom and the two of my sisters that are in town this weekend that we are polyamorous. Now, they've met Tech and Kitten before but as our best friends. I thought, and now know, that some of this was suspected. Knowing my family, I felt if they wanted those...

Welcome. It looks like you are starting well.

Welcome to the forum. Vol

Found ours through yahoo groups.

I'm sorry to hear this. I do not know anything about your situation but, your advice is good. It is worth it and it is work. I just would like to add that it takes work from all parties. Vol

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. The only female friends I can say I have had my whole life are my sisters. I do not do understand women in some ways. I was always a tomboy when younger and in high school, those I was around were always back stabbing their so-called friends. You are lucky to have...

I have two ear piercing in each ear with a third at the top on one. I have my hood pierced and did have a navel piercing. It just would not heal. I have a fairy tattoo in my lower back...I'm Irish and this one spoke to me and Gator said she reminds him of me, a phoeniz tattoo that covers my...

Successful? Well, I guess that includes a few things for me...happiness and not necessarily happy that I have a loving relationship. Am I happy in how we are dealing with things, whether they be good or bad? Am I growing in the journey I'm traveling with someone? Now, my goal is longevity, I...

LovingRadiance, I do much of what you mentioned when I feel jealous. Why do I feel this way? Is is solely within me? Is it something I am perceiving or is the situation actually a problem? Is there something that has triggered an insecurity of mine? (Yes, 98.9% of the time.) Is there something...

I'm sorry, but I do not think "caught up in the moment" is an excuse. I've been on the receiving end of that and it was bullshit. I could get caught up in a moment, but I do not put myself in a position that has the potential to lead to crossing boundaries that have been set. I try to put myself...

I can't tell you how true this is. In the beginning most of us wanted to move in together as soon as we could. Circumstances didn't permit and thankfully, not all four of us were ready at the same time. Now, I see a different dynamic. I would like for us to live closer. 2 hours apart can be...