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Recently my former partner has had a couple major life events come up: a marriage, and a hook suspension that she'd been dreaming of for nearly a decade. In both cases I tried to be happy for her. In both cases I was filled with rage seeing the central role that her partner - her Daddy Dom - now...

I could use some help sorting through a feeling. I am in a relationship with a person who used to be my cohabiting partner of 6 years. We stopped living together a year ago. Now she is living with someone else. They have better chemistry than we did, and it's been implicitly clear for a long...

How would you deal with it if a request for compassion was ignored? I am in a conflict with one of my partners. I feel a strong need for her just to acknowledge that what I'm going through is hard. (She struck up a lifestyle BDSM relationship with someone else and has been routinely doing...

I'm presently having a feeling I've only had three times in my life. The first time was maybe 15 years ago, when my first lover surfaced at my band's show shortly after a painful breakup. The second time was a few weeks ago, again in the presence of a lover who broke my heart. And the third...

This morning my partner of 6 years walks into the kitchen wearing what is obviously a submissive's collar. When I ask her about it, she tells me that she has decided to engage in a Lifestyle BDSM relationship with her other partner (of 1 year) which involves her permanently wearing a collar to...

I loosely identify with the label "Relationship Anarchist." Here's what I mean when I say that I am a relationship anarchist: I co-create my relationships based on my specific dynamic with each person I am in relationship with. These relationships may or may not involve varying degrees of...

I'm trying to build my self-confidence. Currently working my way through a David D. Burns book. I'm feeling a real lack of faith right now that, after a lifetime of emotional abuse and ostracism, I can ever change and become the person I want to be. It just seems hopelessly unachievable. Does...

Is there a useful distinction between solo poly and relationship anarchy (RA)? To me it seems that they are both about rejecting normative relationship scripts and negotiating each relationship (including friendships) on its own terms. I'm sort of casually seeing someone who identifies as Solo...

My partner was friends with a guy she wanted for about a year. A few weeks ago they finally started dating. It quickly became apparent that this guy was the best lover she's ever had, including me. Up until now, I'd always held that title. I'm good, but he's amazing. He's also taller than me...

The first time my first poly partner (J) had sex with someone other than me, we had two rules: 1. She would use condoms. 2. She would check in with my via phone early the next day. She violated both of these agreements. When we eventually checked in after she spent an entire weekend as...

This morning my poly partner of four years texted me to let me know that she had spent the night with a friend. They massaged each other, played with hot wax, and "fooled around," which I am forced to assume means (probably unprotected) oral sex. (My partner is currently at work, and we can't do...

I could actually use some advice. But also, I'm hoping that this story will be a helpful lesson for others. I am in a beautiful 3-year poly relationship with my live-in partner T. R is in a non-monogamous relationship with a good friend of mine. I've known R for about 3 years. I've always...

I keep bumping into people who use the term "polyamorous" as if it is synonymous with 1950s - style dating. They seem to think that it means dating a bunch of people casually until they end up in a "real" / "serious" relationship, and then they become monogamous. This really irritates me, but...

I'm falling for a friend. She was dating another friend of mine, monogamously. They broke up briefly, but then started seeing each other more casually again without really putting a label on things. I feel like there might be a small window here for me to express how I feel. Should be open...

Hey Everybody. My poly partner is a bisexual cis female. I am a hetero cis male. For some reason, I get jealous when she has sex with men, but not women. If it's a man, I often feel anxious, insecure, and get really bad mental pictures. I'm worried that his cock will be bigger than mine. I'm...