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Trying to put in an entry more often so here's today's entry: Dating BDSM-hipsters right after divorce (Part 1) I had taken a rather long break from BDSM and been married for 14 years as you may have read above. Dipping my toes in the water of the lifestyle, I joined the website FetLife. I...

While I was able to follow the metaphor, it did indeed obscure the message as nycndie said. A lot of times on Fet people try to get "Kinky & Popular" (read as: viral status) by writing things in an overly cute manner. The main idea of the post makes some sense. Don't oppress someone with rules...

You're speaking of passionate love, which, yes, can be mercurial. For me, I can define love as a deep attraction involving a strong commitment, involving working through or overlooking each other's issues. Passion can come and go. But commitment, for me, is a hallmark of serious love. I've...

Just a side note, a situation (A Dom with 3 subs) like this doesn't have to be dysfunctional. It's just how this leader guy is running it that is making it so.

This. Exactly. If it's that important to you (don't worry you're not alone if it is) then only you know how long you're willing to wait for it ... and if the rest of the relationship outweighs that one criteria.

Seems like you're working through your issues very well...congrats! Just wanted to chime in and agree that I don't think there's a "normal time period." That might be a bit unsettling except for you realized that not being perfect right off the bat is OK.

Like they've said, it depends on what you're looking for. My much younger partner hipped me to what's going on amidst the dating apps, which she enjoys browsing, if only for new friends and the occasional possible date. Tinder - the straight person's version of Grindr, a gay hookup app. Tinder...

Yeah, I gotta call shenanigans on these rules. Just in my opinion. Even in BDSM lifestyle relationships with D-types and s-types, everyone has to be on the same page! If one of my former subs told me she needed something critical to her well-being, I'd have jumped through hoops to give it to...

No intention of piling on the OP, but I was getting the same feeling myself. Don't get me wrong. My kink lifestyle experience means I've seen more than my share of loving relationships like this before. I can think of several off the top of my head existing now, but with the rest of the...

I'm not saying love can't exist amidst dysfunctional behavior. What I'm saying is that love is, in part, the willingness to work through one's own dysfunction. Especially when the other side is being clear about what they need to know or want to hear. More practically said, either someone is...

Wow. Two posts above with amazing perspective. Well said Magdlyn and Gala.

I didn't realize there was a time limit on the editing, so I'll just fill in here what I was going to put in the threads above. Here's something I posted on Fet when I knew my marriage was probably over and needed to get back into the lifestyle. Copied and pasted for the blog and anyone else's...

Thank you so much. I actually don't mind, but that's really good to know and I appreciate the help!

Thanks for the reply. I enjoy them and encourage them! Perhaps I do. Oddly, when I was in college I had exactly that. Great story, mostly because it shows how times have changed in 20 years.... I was in my third year of college (20) and between places to live at the start of a semester. It's...

General entry about what life is like in our relationship at the moment. For the last two months at least...honestly for as long as I can remember, M is living with me in my big old house, along with our two dogs, two cats and 7 fish, as well as her sister and brother-in-law. If that sounds a...

Flat out, you should get to date whomever you want to date. Period. I'm not hung up on the three-girl sex thing as I'm assuming if you really didn't want to do it, you wouldn't. I'll give you credit for knowing your own limits and also for contributing something unusual for your partner's...

Here for support like everyone above. So sorry this had to happen, but glad it wasn't more drawn out than it could have been. When hard conversations must be had, sure one or both sides can say something out of bounds or say something valid the wrong way, but if both parties really love each...

Sitting at the office and thought I'd add an entry. We had sex last night. It was pretty good. Not our best or our worst. I'd bought some wine and she said something about maybe having sex. "I'm not promising anything, but maybe." I wasn't in a hurry by any means. We finally went upstairs...

3/15/2014 So here I am. It's 3 o'clock and I cant shut my brain off. Earlier today we had an argument about the frequency of our sexlife. She cried and got really anxious. I dont fault her for that. We almost didn't go on the trip. ffter that huge discussion where she knew I wanted more sex...

Not to be prurient, but can I ask what it is you need that BF#1 isn't delivering on? It's a fact of life that people often think of other people during sex. It happens and it doesn't mean that you don't love the person you're with at the time. At least to me it doesn't. Of course if I came on a...