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My sentiments exactly. I'm also divorced and then got swooped up in a very emotionally charged relationship way too fast and got confused between love and infatuation and was so deeply involved by the time I sorted myself out that it was really hard to get myself out. i'm very cautious now and...

Update: We met again to go for a walk. We were going to meet in a neutral neighbourhood to play it safe but it was raining so he came to pick me up. We had sex; we cheated. I feel horrible but I also feel elated but dirty but happy... We're going to keep trying to be platonic, the rationale...

There was no veto power granted, just respect and open communication with each other. I agree that it seems like there is more going on, possibly along the lines of her not actually being poly, needing to be in control. I can sit here all day and pathologize but that just isn't nice :) She...

Sigh. Being vetoed sucks; it really hurts. And it's hard not to take this personally. It's more than just a resources issue - I only got to see him about once a month and only for a few hours. Also, she's ok if we continue a friendship (thankfully), just no physical intimacy. I have three kids...

They have small kids and have been married for a long time but got together based largely on the premise of both being poly. Health problems, however, meant that they didn't really practice for a long time and I was the first real secondary partner, it seems, since early in their relationship...

We have regular check ins to check in on how each of us are feeling about our relationship. These are very respectful and open and honest.

He should be very honest and ask a lot of questions about her. Sharing how he feels (nervous, excited, intimidated, etc.) is a wonderful start to an open relationship :)

I second OKCupid. It's wonderful because you can specify that you are strictly non-monogamous and you can search for others who state that also. Go on there without a photo at first to get comfortable, or use a nondescript photo for the first few days or even weeks. Message a few people and...

One thing that has really helped me has been to make friends who are poly. I unintentionally made friends through dating (dates who turned into friends) and I am so grateful for them. They have helped me with my questions and uncertainties so much, as well as making me feel like I belong.

Thank you all. It's not about child safety. It's supposedly about being familiar with the person that our kids will talk to us about so we can help the kids adjust. But I agree, GalaGirl, it's not necessary and there are far less problematic options to help the kids through such a transition...

I met her and the kids yesterday. They ended up coming to my neighbourhood and we walked to a playground. I was so nervous. In retrospect, I realize that my nervousness really shut me down socially and I was really quiet. But I knew it would be awkward and uncomfortable so I was expecting it...

Thanks. Yes, his motivations are kind of unclear to me. I would be happy to meet his partner at any time. We have enough distance between us that (for me at least) there are no hard emotions around us having a new partner. xH doesn't know about our son's meltdown about the condom; he told me in...

Hi. Yes, the point of meeting each other's partners before the kids would be to to make it easier for the kids - so we can know the person and the kids can feel less stressed about splitting loyalties and we can better help them deal with it. In the back of my mind I am concerned about the...

I was just thrown a bit of a curve ball and could use some guidance. I am newly poly. I am divorced and share custody of our kids. It was a horribly 'high conflict' divorce. Nonetheless, 3 years later we can chat, even have a laugh together and I see a big difference in the kids' behaviours as...

Great advice everyone! I'll bring wine (they drink alcohol) but food is very tricky with all kinds of restrictions so I think I'll just do the wine. Nothing permanent is a good guideline. And yes, I'll just be kind and gentle, like I think I usually am :) Thanks!

This is my first significant poly relationship and we are excited to move forward and explore the possibilities of our relationship. I'm going to meet his wife and kids this week. They have been poly for a long time but I think I'm the first additional relationship in about a decade due to...

Dan Savage often has a lawyer on his podcast (savage lovecast) to discuss contentious poly issues. She is based in New York, I think, but seems to be more of a national advocate for polyamorous families. If you search polyamory in his podcast archives I"m sure you would find one of many...

Even if he comes around, it doesn't sound like he/they have the best relationship. I think it may be best to step away. You really like her, so tell her that you would love to reconnect at another time when things are less complicated for her/them. But it doesn't sound like a good situation to...

Thank you both!! Yes, my children love me and like me :) We have very close relationships, especially with my oldest but he is the most emotionally tumultuous. We also live in a very liberal city in Canada, which makes me feel supported generally. And I would never lie to the children, I...

Yes, I guess it does seem like there really is only one thing to do. KC43 - my exh also threatened to take the kids from me - because I was supposedly a weak parent. I was actually just an abused wife (this was found to be true in all the court stuff). He was also physically abusive to our...