Thanks everyone for your input! You've given me lots more to work with as I sort out what I want and what my priorities are. This poly stuff requires a wonderful exploration of self! ;)
It's a messy past with their dad (divorced for a number of years now) and there is still some tension and my oldest (14) tells me their dad still bad mouths me from time to time. I have always been so careful to not say anything bad about him in front of the kids.
But, now I find myself poly...
Yes, please get to a therapist asap. Preferably a sex-positive therapist so he/she can reassure you confidently that this is not polyamory. And be proud that your son stood up for his own boundaries the way he did!
I arrived at polyamory from a place of sexual exploration. I hadn't intended on being here at all, although I knew monogamy would no longer suit me. But then I met a man who is poly and I began to learn about it. I am now in a relationship with that man (who has a primary) and beginning another...