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Update Hey All, Thanks for your messages. Things are still going strong. THe three of us went out for cocktails on Saturday night and had a blast. I am building an excellent relationship with S. In fact, next outing is going to be me and her and AL is staying home with the children!! The hinge...

Hi All, I realised that most people, including myself, tend to post on here when things are going downhill. I guess when we're content we just get on with things. I thought I would post about good things for once. It's not surprising that mono people come on here and ask desperately if there...

Thanks Emm. Yes we did the quiz and I had 10 quality time and his highest was 8 words of affirmation so I need uninterrupted physical presence and conversation more and he can be happy with words. There is a slight difference but otherwise, we are the same and I rate words of affirmation highly...

Thanks Galagirl, you always give straightforward, practical advice. You are right and I have left him to mull this over. He needs to show not tell. I guess I have to see things to believe them, especially in unknown territory. Trust needs to grow and it will that way like it did when we started...

Thanks for all of your feedback. I think the main issue is I feel I need definition as a primary and he does not see things like that. In his mind, he spends most time thinking about me and my needs but he does not rate the practical elements which I count on to process the world. For him, he is...

Hi All, I would really appreciate some input on my latest relationship hiccup. So here's a short background but my intro has more info: 17 year happy mono relationship, married for 8, three children aged 6,4 and 6 months. My husband last year explained that he needed to explore his poly side...

Hi Tinwen, Actually, I never updated. We managed to get her back. It is a long story but once she got proof that I was really on board she also got on board. It was complicated to get it all together but my reply to coolname is about this same girlfriend. She has realised that she has exactly...

Maybe my story could help Dear Coolname, I can feel your pain and that of your partner. 17 years down the line, 3 beautiful boys and 8 years of marriage, my husband realised he needs to pursue his poly side. I am fully monogamous and never considered the need to explore other relationships. It...

Dear Down-to-Earth, I was about to post about the developments in my own relationship and then I read your post and we are clearly in the same boat right now. The pit in the stomach is what I am stuck with at the moment. This is my husband's first poly addition and it officially developed to...

Same Boat Hi Mockingjay, I only joined the forum a couple of weeks ago and I am in pretty much the same boat as you. Together for 17 years, married for 8, 3 boys one of whom is 5 months old and this past year my husband has finally expressed the reality of his need for other intimate...

I think we are back on track but I must not let things fester. I need to make sure I always air concerns or issues immediately because honestly, now I have told him all the things that bother me, I have neutralised lots of them and feel clear. I was sinking into the jealousy by keeping it to...

Having a hard time Hi All, My husband has just ended his first proper foray into polyamory. It turned out to be seriously difficult to find someone willing to take on all of our baggage. It was an adventure and revealed how difficult people find it to communicate. His girlfriend could not take...

Hi Aztech, I remember when I first came across the idea of polyamory. Before I only knew of polygamy and swinging and of course, cheating. When my husband first started talking about the idea I could only reference those lifestyles and so I needed to research. I read most of the book 'More...

Greetings everyone, I am 35 years old and happily married for 8 years (in the relationship for 17) with three lovely boys. I have lived monogamously or I should say, my husband made the sacrifice to live monogamously and to get married for me despite his personal convictions. This past year he...