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I figured out deleting the OKC questions - they are locked from editing for 24 hours. After which you can re-answer them to change the answer or clear the question. Hope this helps someone.

It is a difference in approaches. Some take the approach of addressing life events (this is very profitable if you charge for your time - a life being discussed as opposed to the direct issue). I find it inefficient and usually muddled processwork. You address what manifests in the here and now...

For what it is worth, I don't make friends with ex-partners. Either we have enough in common that we end up having some form of a relationship even after we separate (mutual friends circles or ex-husband being my son's father, etc) or there is no contact at all, unless for some necessary reason...

You are very aware of what he doesn't know. While your V with him and his wife went well, you are aware that you did quite a bit of the heavy lifting to figure out how to make it work, etc. (This may or may not be true, according to him, but it is your perceived/experienced reality.)...

I have been attracted to people on the basis of things they say/write. Including people I haven't interacted with, simply come across something they did. I get your point that meeting them may be a better idea. Maybe I should try to meet the non-creeps to see if they seem interesting in person...

Stand your ground. Your daughter's friends network not being considered suitable metamor material is not an unreasonable stand. It is also fine to break off with him. If he isn't willing to consider your distress in the relationship, he shouldn't be cluttering your intimate space. All things...

I had got into a conversation with a guy on Tinder who had asked about the sex right off the bat. Something about how I'd like him to get me off and if I like oral sex or something - don't recall exactly. It was exactly this that got me curious. What exactly was he expecting beginning a...

I am on a sort of mission. Planning to break my poly virginity. lol. Mostly a whim thing. Won't break my heart if it doesn't happen, but I figured it is time to be curious. It isn't so much about them dazzling me immediately, but the kind of sexual expectations they have.... there is no chance...

How much communication did you and your partner have getting into poly? "Hell" is a big place. Do you have specific things you had a problem with? Did you have support to deal with your insecurity and jealousy? NRE can be an intoxicating time for the involved partner and can lead to you...

About the names - you don't have to use real ones. Just use any one name for the same person, so people understand the story. Avoiding splitting your story into too many separate threads may also help people keep track of what is going on. Those nicknames being in footers shouldn't matter - you...

NRE is a bad time to take major decisions (like moving her into your home). You are likely to embrace the change and rapidly add her to your life and your husband is likely to feel threatened by it. Take it slow. Build properly. Reassure your husband. Define how she fits in your life instead of...

This is a very good point. I have already noticed that me answering whatever question showed up has resulted in some "high" matches being for random things that don't matter to me and the things that really matter (religion being low priority, political views, etc) actually not matching! Are we...

A weak boundary isn't just about someone stepping into your space. It is also you wandering outside it in a manner that isn't useful to your well being. This is also reinforced by the confusion about which people you were talking about - the stories seemed similar enough to indicate a pattern...

I don't like the idea of a separate space. They are people just like everyone else. Why limit them to a corner? Everyone here has a unique matrix of choices on multiple fronts and we have more in common than differences needing separation. We all yearn for something, feel hurt, feel excluded...

I may be a bit biased about Tinder, but my experience of it was horrible and narrow minded. At least in our area, it is full of men who are looking to be laid and have the most primitive ideas about women. It is like the distillation of every stupid stereotype. Some examples: Married man...

I am not that big a believer in childhood trauma suddenly manifesting. It happens, but it is a lot more rare than claimed to be. Usually, when people escape the here and now to provide similarities from the past that they disliked, I find that it is more about avoiding saying those things about...

You don't have to trust her to enjoy the improvements. "Things seem to be better right now. Let me enjoy it while it lasts" is good enough for immediate relief. No point projecting too far into the future and failure. You know what lies at the end of that road. You don't like it. Not much you...

Don't recall if I posted here about it, but I tried finding someone on Tinder and it went pretty poorly. I found a few interesting people, but there was no spark and eventually I just got irritated and bored and etc and deleted my account. Now I've signed up for OKC. The endless questions they...

I didn't get the whole story straight, because your post was confusing to read. From what little I could make out, it is sounding like you have poor boundaries yourself and this ex and her partner are causing a lot of confusion and distress in your life and it is unclear why you are giving an ex...

His fears, his issues, his traumas are his headache. You can support him, you can't solve them. You try to soften their impact, he'll get dependent on you or worse, you'll stagnate his learning curve. He may even learn to dump them on someone instead of fixing them and seek comfort at the cost...