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While loving someone else doesn't mean they love you less, loving someone else does often mean the time/attention you get will could be reduced. Unlike love, they are a finite resource and the attention of a loved one is a powerful thing. It is natural to feel some loss or to feel threatened...

hug

LDR is long distance romance

Have an honest talk with your current partner about poly and find out if he is ok with the idea. It sounds like you haven't had the conversation and he's already somewhat jealous. If he is ok with it, sounds like you're good to go. If he isn't, you need to make a choice - what matters more...

This. + I think the issue is not so much that she needs a drink or few to have sex with you, but more that she spoke with your husband rather than tell you. Perhaps she is wired like that. Perhaps the drinking is or is not a problem per se, just something she enjoys or finds helpful. Perhaps...

Major alarm bells ringing here. He doesn't trust you to not cheat on him? Why not? Does he have reason to believe you'd cheat on him? If not, I have to say that this is sounding like a really bad situation you have got yourself into - whether poly or mono. If he doesn't trust you to meet...

I may be missing something here, but you are not required to agree to your partner choosing to open or close on whim. While you would prefer to settle in a closed relationship, if you aren't in a position to emotionally drop your established relationships, you could negotiate something like "no...

He had agreed to giving you space. A graceful way to address it could be "I need space for a bit". If he is feeling guilty about hurting you, the word "break" is obviously going to be an anxiety trigger. What is more important? You getting the time to yourself or what you call it?

Not sure hierarchy is an adequate explanation for being an ass to someone. I'm one of those people who believes that a hierarchy of some sort is always there. And there can be layers. Whether explicit or explicitly denied or anything in between. The mind thinks things in relative terms, so in...

Are you trying to adapt to poly in order to keep this partner? It won't work if poly distresses you. If you are ideologically fine with poly, but finding it hard to get over the vampire romance conditioning where you're supposed to snarl and get all out of control aggressive at the faintest...

I am grateful for the deeper relationship I now share with Spexy. The overall learning curve we went through. The emotional/sexual/romantic rewards and the hard, but necessary lessons that continue to make us better people.

I agree that being in the closet is hard and I don't do it because I can't keep my lines straight. I am how I am. That said, I do get your friend's concern as well. Given that you were friends for 20 years, you will have a lot of friends in common and his family knowing you or at least of you...

Also, why is your boyfriend so casual with risks around STDs? One thing to have a long fuse. Many do. But health issues won't accommodate emotions or "oops" or give her a second chance because she's 18 or YOU a second chance because you made allowances for age. Caring for her because she's...

I'm in an LDR for 3 years and LDR is very HARD. Everything is easier in physical proximity. I'd suggest that if it is a matter of a month, AND he is under stress right now, it isn't going to help your relationship for you to be bringing this up right now with exams due. Both of you and the...

Everything Galagirl said + You and your bf are separate people, though you're dating this woman as a couple. It isn't a triad if your bf is "yes" and you are "no". So it is not unreasonable for the gf to explain things to your satisfaction or you don't say "yes". No rule says that if bf thinks...

Important concern here is whether C has any support outside this triangle. Family? Other close friends? If he is "at the end of his rope" AND feels alienated from his upcoming marriage, home, friendship and business, I'd hope he has some form of support/therapy to ensure his well being.

Fair or not, I think sharing home and business could prevent C from outright walking out. It could work with a lot of sensitivity. But I'm not so optimistic, given the astounding lack of it so far. If she is in a zone where she feels she shouldn't have to deny herself something that is clearly...

My take here is that if your partner is distressed by a new partner you take, it is messy regardless of what else is there on that list. Either you have everyone on board or you breakoff and do what you like. Whether it is someone's ex or doctor or pool boy is irrelevant. When your relationship...

The situation FunSlut has described IS scary. He's hiding down a bottle while taking two women for granted and having his "poly" with unilateral decisions. This is not healthy for anyone, but particularly for FunSlut. Her attempts to speak with him are met with statements that she should move...

Not "this very minute" but I did mean it as a starting point. Unless both are committed to wanting the relationship to work and working on it, MikeT is likely to default back to her not wanting him, him not living up to her expectations, etc every time he is in a hard spot. Of course, life is...