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Jess is here this weekend and I find it midly annoying, because she already stayed over less than a month ago (literally three weeks ago, the weekend of the 11th of July, so basically when I last posted here lol). Originally, Alicia was going to go visit her instead, but Alicia's band had a gig...

Long time no see! Just thought I'd give a little update, I don't know if resurfacing old threads is frowned upon here (I'd say yes but maybe it's different since I am the OP here). It's been more than a year (!) since I last posted here, life has been a lot and the state of the world in general...

It's 2 am now (made those last posts around midnight) and I can't sleep because I'm suddenly so angry and upset with Alicia for all this shit I've had to deal with the past 2 weeks. BPD rage is not fun at all, but I'm trying to calm down so I can sleep soon, and hopefully we'll be able to talk...

Also Mags, thanks for sharing about yours and Pixi's arrangement. I understand it must've made you uncomfortable at the time, but the idea of her being so irresistible that your bfs couldn't be in her presence cracked me up 😅 It's difficult to foster a casual, organic friendly rapport with Jess...

As always, thank you all for your feedback and thoughts. It truly has been helpful and reassuring. I am looking forward to talking about this properly (yet again!) with Alicia. We've spoken about the situation a couple of times, but she still doesn't seem to understand she's been a shitty...

Sorry for being insistent, I was in a bit of a crisis mode and needed external validation, which I also got from friends (poly and mono) whom I spoke with, as well as my therapist. But I am 100% confident now in my perspective of the situation, and I hope to be able to stick to my guns in the...

I feel like I'm going a little bit insane over here. Alicia and I spoke this morning, and she feels that I've been super inflexible with all this, that I've only focused on my well-being, that telling her that I didn't want to have Jess at home for a week because it would "break my routine"...

Also, normally we both sleep in my bed, but she's taken her duvet and her pillow and she's sleeping in her room. Which like, fair enough, because she's angry and upset and needs space. But I'm so scared.

Thanks, everyone, for your perspectives. Apologies in advance for my post just now. It's 3.30 am here and I just got home from having drinks with friends and trying to distract myself, but I'm feeling like shit and really anxious and worried. I feel like crying, but tears won't come out. I'm...

Hey everyone! Quick question - my meta has a conference in our city next month and has a hotel room available (paid for by her job) but asked if she could stay at our place. Now i wouldn't mind a couple of days, and she has stayed here for the weekend a couple of times (after I spoke with Alicia...

Just wanted to pop in and say we finally did our first R.A.D.A.R. today and it went really well! Which is not to say it was easy, but we laid out a bunch of stuff we needed to talk about, namely things there'd been miscommunication about (or no communication at all). I'm too tired atm to lay it...

Thank you, Magdlyn and Kevin, for your kind replies. I actually felt so anxious after posting that. I dunno, I guess it's scary to be vulnerable online. (Although I have been a chronic over-sharer for years, currently in recovery lol.) I wanted to clarify, just in case, that when I've spoken...

I appreciate this thread! I am non binary and was surprised at this too.

Sex discussion ahead. So. She basically crossed one of my boundaries and I'm quite upset about it. It's not a dealbreaker for me. I don't want to break up with her. I don't think it's the end of the world. (This is quite an achievement, considering my BPD tendencies. lmao A few years ago I'd...

Hey. everyone. It's been a while. Thanks for your kind responses. I feel like I've pretty much normalised the fact that my partner is dating somebody else, and when speaking to friends I refer to Jess as Alicia's girlfriend, which may seem silly, but it feels significant to me. Re: my last...

Hey, I just wanted to say I have a BPD diagnosis too, and although I definitely believe unmanaged BPD is a disaster for poly (or any relationship in general, sadly), I like to think that diagnoses are descriptive and not prescriptive, and that it is completely possible to do the work, identify...

I appreciate the complexity of what you're feeling. I'm truly sorry that you are going through this, but from the information you have offered it truly seems like this person is not a caring individual with whom to have a relationship, let alone a polyamorous one, with all that entails. I agree...

Thank you for explaining further! I understand a lot more about the specific situation now that I have context, and I completely agree that it's to be expected to have people reply or comment on whatever it is one says if it's on a public forum, and generally just anywhere online, really.

Thanks, Kevin! Yeah, it was never my intention to ask for details at all, and I definitely do not want to bombard myself with those images. heh. But I don't want to fall into a don't ask/don't tell dynamic. I am definitely going to take things suuuper slowly, though, and if anything, ask whether...

Thank you! I just wanted to say that it worries me to see "penis owner" associated with toxic masculinity, I understand the frustration if this person or the discourse you are referring to really does come from entitlement, but I believe it is transmisogynistic to assert that trans women or...