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Just a quick update to let you all know that we had an awesome two full days of "vanilla" fun with our friends. No stress. No drama. No pressure. The second night, all four were on board, and sex came back into the mix. And that too was awesome. I think Dion and I did a good job communicating...

Thank you, SourGirl (and your hubby)! That is a great point and one I needed to hear. I'll try!

No, it's too late for a refund. Plus we've all arranged for the extra days off from work. But they are good friends. Even though they'll be disappointed, I know they'll try their best to understand if we tell them we need to remain in our original couples for the weekend, and just have some...

Just a quick update to this thread. When Dion came home last night, he seemed to be feeling a lot better about things, and we were talking reasonably for a while, but then things blew up again and we started arguing. From my perspective, nothing has changed in our relationship with Trey and...

Oh my gosh, that's true. I think you just got to the heart of what I've been so scared of. That L word is scary, and not the way I would describe it. But the longer this goes on, the deeper that emotional connection keeps getting, and the harder it would be to have it suddenly severed. After...

A question... Assuming Dion recognizes that this is a serious problem (which he does, by the way), and assuming he would be willing to work on it with some counseling, where would we ever find a counselor that would be knowledgeable and understanding of the non-monogamous choices we have made...

AnnabelMore, Black Unicorn, and Redpepper, thank you so much for hearing the pain and heartache in what I wrote yesterday. There was a great deal of that. Dion and I have a very deep soul connection. Even as angry with him as I was, when he hurts, I hurt. Of course, I am also hurting for myself...

Just to be clear, we have not discussed this as a quad and have never used the term polyamory. Polyamory is a scary word to me. I say that with the greatest respect for all of you who are living such authentic lives and calling it what it is. Dion and I have used the poly word in our own...

Of course, it depends on when you ask. There are times when he would try to defend himself and point out that he has had a lot of trouble with all of this from the very start, that he has been trying very hard to work through it, and that the hypocrisy is just a result of this roller coaster of...

Redpepper, I need to address this first. I know I wrote a novel and you probably missed it. But please, give us a little credit. We're all educated, intelligent adults. Prior to our quad, Dion and I had been monogamous for 25+ years. Trey and Sage were mono for 15+ years. Plus we ALL were...

(Continued part 3) Over the past 7 months with T&S, I've really tried to protect myself against getting hurt. I don't know why I'm so afraid of it, but I am. And when R has had his emotional outbursts he has threatened to just suddenly end the relationship with T & S, telling me that he just...

[Continued...] Fast forward to about a year ago, we make the decision to venture very slowly and step-by-step into soft swinging. So we go to a swingers resort, and a few local clubs, and sign up for one of the websites. Right from the start, we were both turned off by the idea of anonymous...

I badly need some outside perspective and advice. This is my first post on this forum. I'm really sorry to be introducing myself like this, but I don't know where else to go. I'll try to be as brief as I can, but some background is necessary to really understand my situation. This is going to be...