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I have such a problem responding to these without sounding like a run of the mill tool, maybe because I am. I just do the general "hey you sound really interesting and I'd like to hang out and get to know you" I'm such a damn geek. I just don't know what to say.

Want doesn't seem to be the same as a basic expectation. I mean you do have a vision of how people should treat you right? Even if it is abstract? I appreciate everyone's views, and I guess as I go along I will grow to appreciate them more and more. I am sure I will look back and go "shit...

I don't offer it up, honestly, because I don't feel it is really anyone's business. But I don't hide it either, because I don't care. That being said, I can see how this would be a slippery slope, based on your background, family history and upbringing. The basic rule I have is that if people...

I agree with you, I don't say anything in text/email/im that I wouldn't say in front of my SO. Who cares? If you aren't comfortable with saying it in front of them, can you truly say you are being honest?

Totally understandable Vix, thanks for all the knowledge, I look forward to our experiences and sharing them with everyone.

Sometimes I wish there was a like button here, I would totally use it for annabel's post.

Vix as a direct response, Jilly and I do have two different logins here, but it amazes me when we go to a site like okc how our responses are eerily similar. I enjoy everyone as an individual, but we have the same vantage point in almost every situation, and all this experience has done has...

Hi Jim, I am also a Jim, nice to meet you and it is nice to be around people who have similar views and ideals.

This interests me because it touches on the NRE I hear so much about. I understand your feelings, but I also understand the guilt you feel because you have them. It's a slippery slope, you want them to bond, but you don't want to live in a state of high anxiety. I would think that sitting...

Bump because of spam.

I see all of those points. I guess my best response would be that all of these things would best evolve naturally, and what happens, happens. I just don't understand the whole concept of being so overwrought with concern that you restrict what could or could not be (and believe me I can...

I meant no offense by my post. I also did not mean to offend by my lack of knowledge of acceptable terminology. I respect any dynamic and I think you are entitled to it, more power to you and all that fun stuff. What I meant to say was, if we are truly tolerant and understanding people, why...

You just made me spit my coffee all over the place. What I meant was independent of the relationship already established, although yours would be a much more interesting option I think.

Aren't all of those scenarios you mentioned something that the quad would have to work out for themselves based on their individual needs and wants? I guess what I am trying to ask is, what is the difference between defining boundaries and expectations between 4 people and 2 other than two more...

Hi all, My wife and I are new to this relationship style and have had one encounter that ended in disappointment when the couple we were involved with had a member that was not honest in their commitment to the relationship. We have many questions and I know there are many forums for us to fish...