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It all makes perfect sense to me. I have explained exactly that using the kids analogy to all a few weeks ago. In all honesty I never thought I could love more than one person at a time in that way but it’s because of the differences between each that means I can. I might just have to do...

Yes! Exactly this. I see them all as beautiful, unique beings in their own right. They see themselves as joined to others and unable to function properly in this way separately. Oh dear!

I shall clarify with them. We kind of have talked about this. Andy and Annie would prefer a closed quad. Harry and I don’t experience jealousies and started out in this thinking we would continue to swing and everyone would just do as they please. BUT we love what we have with them and don’t...

I suppose one concern, and I realise it is likely, is that working as a four if one of the many dynamics fails that’s it for everyone except the primaries, and that’s why I’m not sure this is polyamory. I could do it. I am certain they cannot. I am in love with each of them. I know that all...

I don’t know … maybe what everyone else is doing is not polyamory at all and it is still closer to swinging, just we aren’t seeing other people. I am now in a whole sea of confusion. The love is there from me for the other three but in very different ways. All deep. However, I think everyone...

Hi everyone again, One thing I’ve realised through reading some of the posts here (which I don’t feel qualified to comment on yet, but give me time), is that there seems to be all sorts of dynamics/ways of being in polyamory. My first question: is there one defining commonality between all of...

Although I suppose we never know for sure I’m pretty hopeful, cautiously confident, that no-one is just being a people pleaser. We are four upfront people but appreciate that this is a whole new world and there’s a lot of learning and growing to do together. All I know for sure is that I am...

We are doing just this. It feels like we are doing well to the point we are at today. I believe it, even though it feels so crazy. I guess that’s the NRE whizzing around? I have stopped resisting and feel happier because of that. We all talk A LOT. I would say that’s probably our biggest...

I had not considered this. I’ve thought a lot about the dynamics and how complicated it all is. It’s actually terrifying but there is no part of me that can contemplate it not being a ‘thing’ from my side.

I can relate to this feeling of a gift but I’m feeling it three ways. It feels like each of the quad has given me something amazing. Thank you. This is a great point. I look around and have assumed that it’s the same but appreciate now the ‘similar.’ Oh yes! NRE is alive and well! I’m high...

Thank you so much for your reply. I haven’t ever had any therapy, I kind of deal with stuff in my own head. Thanks also for the link that I will read through. I think we have already felt the ebbs and flows of the dyads as we go at different paces. I’ll feed this back though - we talk a lot...

I'm new here today, so please be gentle! My partner and I have been swinging for the last 10 years. We've always kept that side of our life very separate from what we called ‘real life.’ We would meet others without much planning or thought and mostly have one crazy night with them before...