Search results

Specific tips? As a final note: "How do poly people do this successfully???" Easy... we fuck it all up. And then we try again and while aiming for fucking only 95% of it up. And then we try again aiming for 90% fuck-up. Success is a goal, but it's never a destination. ;) I was afraid of...

Primary Freaking Out Bad! Here's an update on what's been happening (below). These are copies of posts I put in the "New to Polyamory" section. You can look for it there if you'd like to read the excellent feedback (aka ass kicking) I got there. For any of you new to this or considering...

Got the message loud and clear! Thank you all!!! Thank you all for your comments. One of the things I love about this forum and its members is that no one pulls any punches. I knew I’d get good comments and that if I was wrong you’d all tell me to pull my head out of my ass....well, I hope...

OK, so quick background....my husband, IDRider47 and I opened our marriage a month ago. It was a good, well thought out and talked through decision but the idea was mine. I’ve been thinking about this for months now (see our blog posts if you want more info). I had someone in mind; he didn’t...

Hug I'm not sure what to say here but I want to respond to your pain. Read people's blogs and threads on this site. They are so deep and I'm sure you will find comfort, encouragement and friendship here. Lean on your husband and just breathe....you'll get through this and you'll grow because...

First issues/learning to do this 7.4.2011 Rider was OK when I told him E and I kissed for the first time. He asked if it was exciting to me and I told him it was. He assumed that when we get back from our vacation it won’t take long before E and I sleep together. He requested to be told when...

Here we go.... 6.27.2011 10:35 PM Here we go..... I decided to follow my own advice and go for what I want. I wanted to see Mr. X (I’m going to call him E from now on) today; I wanted lay it all out. I wanted to get some relief from the all-consuming thoughts. So, I called him once a...

Second Date Whew! A few days after a lovely hiking date (initiated by me), Mr. X called me and asked me to join him on another hike and a climb. I’m feeling more at ease. I wondered how he was feeling about me telling him I was in an open marriage and if he was interested. Apparently he’s...

update River, Yes, I do want more than just a physical relationship and I did let him know that I'm in an open marriage. I wove it into the conversation and wasn't specific about he and I. We are developing a friendship. I did tell him that I hoped that knowing that would alleviate any...

funny thing happened at the market today So I went to the grocery store today and it was the first time I had gone since not wearing my wedding ring anymore. There was this very attractive man that made eye contact with me and smiled. I smiled back politely like I always do and as I passed...

Thank you Carma, Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I liked how you said, “what have I sent him into???”. Very funny and I totally understand. It’s going to be interesting to see how I react to Rider’s first real interaction with a real, live woman. I’m excited for him but I...

Guilt and value judgements-doesn't sound like atheist thinking to me TRye, You mention that your husband is “hard wired mono” but what I’m unsure about is if he has decided for himself that he is mono and only wants you OR if you mean that he is not OK with the poly thing and believes that...

First "date" Thanks to Autumnal Tone, Meringue, Redpepper, NeonKaos, and River for you comments regarding my “nervous” post in the New to Polyamory section. It really helped. I have to also thank Rider (husband) for his wisdom and understanding. He gets me and soothed some of my nerves and...

OK, breathe! Autumnal Tone, you put a smile on my face and gave me confidence. Thank you. :) Meringue, I like the upfront approach and Redpepper, I appreciate your advice to go slow. I haven't heard back from him today; he said he would call or e-mail me to set a time and give me directions...

Let it begin.... Day 8 of being in an open marriage Last week before I left on my trip I e-mailed the man I am interested in developing a deeper relationship with. He e-mailed me back and told me to call him to set up a time to get together when I got back. I called him today and we set up a...

Rider and I just made the decision to open our marriage a little over a week ago. I am interested in forming a friendship with a man from one of my classes last semester. He demonstrated some attraction to me but he also knows I am married. I’m really nervous! I am interested in this man...

Thanks again for the feedback. It's all so helpful. We have a 14 year old son and a 17 year old daughter. I'm an anthropology student and have written a paper on monogamy and biology. I've had stacks and stacks of sex and biology books and particularly non-monogamy books scattered about...

6.12.2011 Day 16 Well, we did it. We officially opened up our marriage. We figure we’re as ready as we’ll ever be so we’re just going to let things happen as naturally as possible. We have only 3 rules. This is really cool. Rider and I both agree that a long list of rules kind of goes...

Thank you Thank you all for your comments. Rider and I have poured over and discussed all the advice and comments made which address our questions and concerns. In reading these comments again I realize that I'm thinking from a place of fear in some ways; I'm trying too hard to manufacture "the...

From Halting Baby Steps to Letting Things Flow Thank you for your kind words, Morningglory629 and transitapparent. Transitapparent, I can't image what it would be like to be in your shoes but I will tell you that your story and stories like it are extremely helpful because it highlights how...