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Thank you This has been a difficult learning process but such is life sometimes. I still hope that one day she will reach out to us and we can reconnect but that may just be a dream that will never happen. She is aware of this forum but I don't know if she checks it. I guess we just move...

I don't remember her exact words but what came across was an ultimatum. Was she taking control of her life - yes. Was it out of the blue and shocking -yes. Did we react poorly - also yes. I never wanted her to feel like she needs my permission for anything. She is an adult and doesn't need...

I think there is a disconect here between us. We were the ones with the issues, I haven't denied that. As I have stated several times, our lack of knowledge on this was clear. My attitude towards this situation has taken a dramtic turn since I first posted and that is because of the articles...

True, for the period between her telling us and us responding poorly because we were in shock, we did know. I would say however that the lead up to this did not indicate anything. I think had she brought up the topic without giving us the ultimatum of I date or I'm gone, we could have talked...

And you are correct, but what she told us before was that she was happy with just us, she didn't want others, she was polyfidelious (sp?) so we were caught off guard, shocked. I don't deny that we have changed our views, but that is because we didn't have the education. She told us she had...

I believe it because I (and my wife) love her so much that it is hard to think otherwise. We don't want her to be a unicorn, we want her to be happy and if that includes her seeing others than we will be happy with that. The communication by all was not where it needed to be. We didn't know...

This was a great article, I just wish I knew all of this before. The only thing I can say is she always said she was happy, that she didn't want more and that we were enough. Then one day that changed and we over reacted. I know this now and like so many of life's lessons I learned it after...

And we are okay with that (day late however) we just want to know that we would be included. She doesn't want commitment right now (it appears, she didn't say that exactly). She told us that the other would see her more and that if she started a third she would see us even less, this to us is...

And this one did form by accident, not us looking at all. We know now that our concept was difficult for her, we just didn't know beforehand. I don't want her to be trapped by us but I also don't want to just be a casual side project. We asked to be a part of her life in a way she doesn't want...

I don't think either of us are interested in just solo dating, just not what we are looking for. My wife and I spoke a bit last night about it and really she is just in a different place and wants different things. We are looking for a relationship where we are included in the persons life...

And to be clear, I am not looking for blame to be distributed here. The situation is what it is and I can't change that. Communication obviously wasn't where it needed to be with all of us and that is too bad. Hindsight is 20/20 and maybe she was unreasonable in her expectations of us...

And we of course will move on. It was very helpful to write this down and I have learned a lot over the last couple of days. I don't know if we will ever enter into this type of relationship again, it was a hard end for both of us but if we do, at least now will enter under a different...

Okay. I must admitt I am a little confused and feel like there is a back story I am unaware of here (which is fine, I don't really care to be honest)

I again maybe used the wrong terms. When she was around us she said we were all she needed and that she was happy. She never mentioned dating others and when she did it was out of the blue and a shock. That is why we reacted the way we did. I honestly thought she enjoyed the relationship as...

Well, my wife and I talked and we went back to her saying we were wrong to not allow her to date others and that we wanted her in our lives. She declined and has said that she doesn't want to go through the process again and that it is too much for her. In the end, our initial inability to...

I appreciate your honesty but I am surprised at the amount of venom in your post. This is new to me and my wife and maybe we don't have the same ideas on what a perfect relationship is. I came here to get some different perspectives on my situation so that I could maybe understand. Some...

But wouldn't it be worse to lie to her and ourselves and pretend that we are happy she is off seeing another. Like I said before, maybe we aren't 100% poly (whatever that means) I don't know if she is hurt or not and this isn't the ending my wife and I wanted but we had to be honest

Blunt but honest. Thank you I don't know if we can do it (or if we want to) but moving forward at least I have an idea from the other view point Thanks

And maybe what we are looking for is that unicorn, I don't know. I get what she wants, just not so sure we can provide.....

She had her own place but would be over between 3-5 times a week. I should also add that there is an age difference (she is younger) and I think she was afraid of commitment at this stage in her life