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Thanks for the reply TA. It is frankly astounding to me the difference we've gone through in such a short period of time. We've gone from total honesty, feeling very strong about our relationship to the high likelihood of divorce, all in about 4-6 weeks. I hope you're able to find the...

Thank you PolyExplorer. What is amazing to me is that this is the second time this has happened to me. My first marriage ended when my ex-wife took a boyfriend and divorced me. She said that she couldn't be herself with me. With RBR, I took a very different tact in our marriage, making sure...

Hi All I forgot to add to my previous post that, as this is no longer about poly, this will be my last post here. It wasn't poly that separated us. As I stated above, RBR told me she left the marriage long ago. Thank you all so much for your help as we tried to take this poly journey. I...

So, this is Rider continuing on my journey, trying to discover the root of all the problems I’ve been having this week, and figure some things out. I would like to state up front here that we are struggling with the gravity of what this thread means. I wrote the post and RBR has read it and...

I think we've reached the end.... So, this is Rider continuing on my journey, trying to discover the root of all the problems I’ve been having this week, and figure some things out. I would like to state up front here that we are struggling with the gravity of what this thread means. I wrote...

SvartSvensk, way back before the condom discussion, your situation was developing. I think its like post #22. Ive been reading with interest in your sitation.... Did you ever share how this all turned out? I have to say that with me pursuing other relationships, I am happily snipped. Its...

Hi All As always, excellent comments. You give us much to think about, which was part of what we were looking for. The other part was practical examples of how others decide what to do with whom. It seems that with a V like we have, with RBR as the hinge and E and Rider as the two sides...

As always, good advice nycindie. I really want to latch onto this thought. I asked RBR this morning to understand that perhaps she doesn't know me as well as she thinks. I don't think she heard me, but I think I need to do the exact same thing!!

Hello nycindie and GS Thanks for the posts. You guys are alway so helpful. nycindie - I think I am in agreement that we need to slow down a bit more and get rid of the exception clause for now. I think we just need time, and I hope RBR will agree. What started as a small conversation this...

Hello NYCindie Yeah, I think we thought that we did that. I'm understanding the problem better and better as we go through this morning. I think there are three issues. The first is that we decided that evenings and weekends were reserved for Rider and RBR. RBR and E can see each other...

Well, we enjoyed one day to catch our breath before problems jumped up again. This time it's around activities. When this started, it was about RBR doing activities with someone else that I couldn't do, or wasn't interested in. But the rub comes when she wants to do things with her boyfriend...

Hi All Here we are, Rider and RBR continuing our journey. We had one good day, now things aren't so good today. Not a big meltdown, but definitely struggling. We could use your help again. The question I would like to get your input on is about how to think poly about activities. When this...

Today is so much better. No freak out today, much more acceptance and forgiveness of the hurts that were occurring. Feel like I definitely have my head above water today and I'm not in any danger of getting sucked down today. Today I think it's going to be ok moving forward. With all the...

Hi All I want to say thanks so much for all the support today. It's been a rough day, but we got through it and with the help of all you fine folks I think we actually have a good outcome. I only made it up to page 24 of FreeTime's thread, but there were a huge number of parallels, things...

Today is the darkest day by far. Another sleepless night, another emotional meltdown. RBR suggested that I read FreeTime's thread as a way of gaining perspective. She wants me to just gut through this. As she posted on her other post, I am so consumed by this at this moment that I couldn't...

Thanks for the support Carma. I do know that RBR is trying, she just doesn't understand so things aren't lining up as she wanted them too. Its amazing how much of a roller coaster this whole thing is. I think we'll find a way to smooth things out over time though. RBR and I have worked it all...

Thanks for the support. I'm in a better place now but this still sucks. I really want to begin to experience the good side of poly. So far, it's the shits. Right now RBR is out with her significant other, sealing the deal. She asked me before she went and I told her she should go if she...

Thanks for the support Carma. Yes, I expect to find that the poly mindset is another layer of freedom from the Christian upbringing. I'm not far enough in yet to experience the joy of it though. Still struggling thru the emotions of RBR's new relationship and what that all means. And speaking...

Yea! the "vacation is almost over!" Thanks for the support Ray. We're traveling home today and tomorrow so I think that it will help for us to be back in a more comfortable environment. Things are better today, not feeling as stressed and RBR and I have had some really good talks over the last...

Really struggling today... 7-6-11 Really struggling today. RBR is frustrated by being on this "vacation" away from E, communication is difficult because of the poor Internet and phone connectivity situation, that or the stress of the situation causes her to pull back away from me, which is...