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That's what he was getting at with me? I shouldn't be polyamorous because I'd like a "Hey, I'm going out text" instead of him just not coming home at night and not being reachable? Ok, this place isn't for me. You all have fun. Sorry I bothered anyone with my ridiculous expectations that are...

Was the cheating every actually dealt with? As in did he take responsibility for his actions and was anything done to help you heal from it? Or did he just cheat a few times and then you agreed to polyamory and maybe you both thought the betrayal would just go away like it never happened...

Hi Bunny, welcome. How did it all start if you don't mind me asking? The part about it not being your choice stuck out to me and it seems like it happened around the time you've been together for five years? Are you doing ok? I don't want to be nosy but if you need to vent I'd listen.

My husband and I both had fathers who disappeared whenever they felt like it. We both work, we just aren't assholes who want our kids to go through that. I guess we both need help because I'm just as considerate about it as him. We don't disappear with no word. No one's ever had a problem with...

I'm not whatever jealous woman you had a troubled relationship with. Stop projecting on me.

No, he doesn't dawdle to avoid me if that's what you're saying. He would let me know he'll be out for a couple of hours. I would do the same for him. I do consider that a courtesy for people you live with. My sister lives with us and will do the same if she's taking off for the night so we don't...

I don't care at all about talking to people on the Internet or being on a dating site. If he's going out I want to know. I don't need to know with who but he always tells me. Just not coming home from work or taking off isn't ok to me though. That's a courtesy issue as far as I'm concerned. I...

So what's in it for this new wife you want?

We call that a maid where I live. It's much easier to find than another wife but they expect to be paid for their work.

This is what happened to me when I tried to sign up. I found it amusing for a site known as a hook up site. Very high morals they have there. LOL

I'd like to say they'll come around and realize what's really important but the reality is that they don't always. I'm really sorry you're going through this. My MIL did the whole "How could you humiliate me like this" thing too. It wasn't fun. All being said and done though, I'd still rather...

No, I don't hate you or despise you or want you off the forum. I think your wife is the one thinking with her genitals when it could seriously hurt you and your kids. The cheater who attacked me had never been in my home once. A person doesn't have to be in your home to be in your life and...

Are they actually ok with this? The whole you putting your hard and soft limits on their physical interactions with each other? It kind of blows my mind that anyone would agree to this.

I completely agree with this. This is a huge red flag, oh my god, stop, have a come to Jesus meeting, sit the hell down and think with your brain not your genitals and consider what kind of person you're exposing our family to. He's a shitty human being. I know I sound dramatic but I've seen...

I've seen careers destroyed by it. We put things on hold while we were in the military. One disgruntled ex partner and you're basically fucked. I don't see how it's worth it.

I actually think LBGTQ people would find less support here if there was a separate area. I don't think this board is busy enough to sustain all the separate groups.

Those three points cover my basics. I don't consider pregnancy a rare risk, even when birth control is being used. I would discuss it. I hope it goes well. I've had some really bad experiences having this conversation. Some of these are deal breakers for me and I try to be nice about ending it...

It's not really important to me. We don't feel the need to celebrate things like this on the exact date anyways. Even our anniversary, if it's on a weekday we'll just celebrate it on the weekend before or after. I'll do something for Valentine's day for my husband because I know he likes that...

I don't see anything wrong with it. There are types of "poly" that really bother me but this sure isn't one of them.

I don't think you should agree to it if you don't want to. I've seen dozens and dozens of relationships over the past two decades where one spouse felt like shit about it but agreed just to keep the marriage intact. I've yet to see one of those end well. It may be better to end it now then let...