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An update to the update is in order. Dinner was great. The three of us had a wonderful time, laughing, joking, catching up. My lovely wife Lex was really impressed with how Sam has gotten his shit together and is taking responsibility for his actions and his past. We had the same connection...

He's doing NA. He got his 2-month chip last night, which I think is just great. I know the forgiveness/amends thing, because my dad is doing AA also. Well, he did it for a long time, but dropped out semi-recently. He's not drinking though, so I guess that's good. I'm just going to see what...

I called him. It turns out that he's gotten clean. He was addicted to hydrocodone and klonopin, to my knowledge. He wanted to ask for my forgiveness, make amends, what have you. We actually had a pretty good conversation -- a little awkward, but not bad. He'd like to hang out with my me and Lex...

Long Time, No Post (A Novel! Sorry!) Hi Everyone! It's been a LONG time since I posted here! I haven't forgotten about you all. Things have been really really tough around here for quite some time, and I haven't had a whole lot of internet access. Fortunately though, that will change...

Hi Everyone, Sorry I've been gone for so long; things have been pretty hectic and crazy around here. This is an update to the thread you can find in the new to poly forum, but I figured I'd put it in here since it's kind of off topic, but still on topic, if that makes any sense. Old thread is...

Thanks so much for your kind words, Mark. I'm hoping hard that this all works out for the best. Today is Lex's and my 5-year anniversary of being together, and our second wedding anniversary was Tuesday (the 9th). We had a really amazing conversation this morning about the nature of love and how...

Thanks, Mark. So do I. Let me give a quick update, and then I'll address the quote above. A mutual friend of the three of us spoke with Sam last night (after I had spoken with this friend several times in the course of the day). He is really upset that Sam and I broke up. He is in a new poly...

I think that had a whole lot to do with it, and we didn't respect Lex's discomfort with the situation at all. She made a lot of sacrifices to her own comfort and boundaries so that we could be together, but we didn't even begin to respect that the way we should have. I see that now. And it...

Yeah, I think you're pretty close to the mark, Mark. (That was completely unintentional, btw.) I got so wrapped up in the NRE and the promises and the emotions with him that I completely neglected my lovely wife. We've been talking about writing out what we need, as far as boundaries and things...

The thing that came back to bite me was that I was dishonest about how much time I was spending with Sam. Lex had said she wanted us to slow it down and spend more time with her, and we were doing that, but we also were seeing each other in the mornings before I went in to my lab. She found out...

A Sad Update As of Monday, Sam decided that he could no longer deal with being in our relationship. Lex and I, as you know, have been having marriage problems, and Sam had to bear the brunt of some of those problems. We were not entirely honest, even when we were doing our best to be, and it...

I'm sorry to hear this... I am, quite honestly, bisexual. My "primary" partner is another woman, my wife, who is a lesbian. My "secondary" partner is a man, my boyfriend, who is a straight man. The three of us HAVE messed around together, but it's not the basis of this relationship. This...

Well, I've only been in a poly triad for 3 months and a bit, but when I introduce people to my partner(s) it's always been "this is my wife" for L, and "this is my boyfriend" for S. We've not yet been in a social situation where i've had to introduce both of them to someone, because the great...

Update! Well, it was a really up and down week for all three of us. I had felt like Sam was being distant (which he was, to his own admission), and Lex was hurting because I was really stressed out. I couldn't get ahold of Sam all day yesterday, which is COMPLETELY unlike him. Lex and I had...

Thanks, Quath and Mark. I think part of the issue is that Lex wanted to speak to her friends about it, and let them know what was going on, before we were "out" at school, and Sam and I didn't respect that, because, well... it's not that I don't want to respect Lex's wishes, but I've never...

She does know it's not a comparison game; I've made that abundantly clear. I also have given her tons of reasons why I'm not leaving, why I haven't stopped loving her, or even CHANGED my love for her at all. We've both been doing a lot of reading about poly and stuff, and I've requested some...

I do have one other question, actually. This is something that's really really frustrating to me, and I'm not sure how to fix it. Lex constantly compares herself to Sam, especially in sexual situations. I KNOW that this is one of the worst things that she can do, but the few times I've brought...

That's the thing that I wasn't totally clear about. I knew that being out at school (handholding, etc.) was one of her boundaries, and I knowingly crossed that boundary. The reason isn't so much that she's uncomfortable with us being out at school, though she's not comfortable with that, but...

It's both... She's feeling insecure because she feels like I've been trying to create a life that's separate from her, and she feels like I'm more excited about him than I am about her. (Like I said before, there's LOTS of NRE going on between him and me.) She's scared right now that I'm going...

I think that the fact that we were out at school at all is the issue, not the fact that we were holding hands. I do hold hands with my female friends, but when Sam and I are together, I'd venture to say it's pretty obvious that there's something other than just friendship going on. Add to...