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And you can't wipe your friends on the back of the couch.

I've heard this story before Your post sounds very familiar. I did a search & found a similar story in these threads - http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28218 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?p=154125 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16189 Maybe it...

"My feeling is that D should keep R as a platonic friend and concentrate on his relationships with me and with C..." I cannot understand why no one has responded to the degree of control you want to have over your primary's love life. Shouldn't he be the one to determine who and when and where...

I do not see any of the more critical posts as being centered on words that have "different or deeper meanings in the poly community." (?) It's not even just a poly problem, but a different one altogether. I would hope that most people here understand basic relationship skills regardless of...

The real creepiness of what you and your husband want is actually hard to describe. I don't think there is an easy way to explain to you why it's so creepy. Also, I consider your backstory as you called it, to be the important part that needs to be addressed much more than the questions you had...

Sounds just like the story in this thread. http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19858

I hope you're joking about being embarrassed! How could anyone be embarrassed about talking about this kind of stuff if they are able to meet up with people they hardly know and have sex with them?

Sounds like an entire night of immature over-reactions on everyone's parts.

Hi, been following the thread and admit I was also confused. If Kandy couldn't see what you did, how did she know you did it? Do you guys have individual relationships or only date couples together? Just curious.

Your wife was upset and asked for opinions. I gave mine and agreed with some other people. Guess I hit a nerve but it was just how I saw it. If my partner did that to me, I wouldn't accept it, but that's just me. I doubt very much that a stranger on the internet can actually "sow discord" in...

Yes, it's such a convenient excuse, it seems ridiculous!

Hello again. This made me sad to read that you think going out and doing something you love would be a waste if it's just for you and no one else. I think you should consider yourself worth a little gasoline! Just by the fact that he went to see his girlfriend even after you told him the...

Harsh? No, I like asking hard questions, that is how I like to participate. I observe and ask. I was not judging you harshly, but telling you what your words seemed to be saying to me. When I said, "what are you giving?" It was just a question that was attached to the sentences that...

selfishness in relationships The above sentence is what stands out for me. I find it the most interesting in everything you wrote. What do you mean when you say "despite or because of" the events that transpired that you "still" love her? That would imply that her circumstance might merit...

Yes, it would seem that you would be more comfortable posting on a regular relationship message board for monogamous people. I am new to poly and even I know that it is totally incorrect to say there is a type of polyamory that is simply thinking about past relationships. You're monogamous...

Hi Wolfie, You are an excellent writer. Wondering how it all turned out. If you're still out there, please give us an update.

It does sound like you are still healing from the past, even though you have reached a good place in your marriage again. I wonder if there is something about this woman that makes you insecure and less confident than you normally would be. You said that when you first began with poly, "I was...

Have things improved between you and your husband? It sounds like it has been exhausting.

Maybe it has to do with how you're coming across. It seems like you're trying to enlighten everyone with your viewpoint and you have stubbornly refused to accept any objections to your ideas. You haven't really been discussing anything, you've been lecturing.

Thank you for answering my questions so truthfully and directly. Regarding your last post... it is admirable to stand by someone who has made mistakes, even terrible ones, and to do lots of work on a difficult relationship with someone you so deeply love. But do you think there is ever a...