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Help, poly friends! You're my only hope! :confused: I've found myself in a sticky situation with my partner (G) and her husband (M). Assuming you haven't read the entire thread up to this point, I'll just say that G and M have been practicing a polyamorous lifestyle for the last 10 years or...

Kevin, I do typically sleep with R in our home together, but she was out at her partner's house that evening. She spends 1-2 nights away each week. At this point, G and I are spending an evening together only once every couple of weeks... It's not as much as I'd like, but I'm just happy to...

It's been a while since I posted anything about my situation. The main reason for this was that not only had my partner (G) stumbled across the thread while browsing the forum, but my metamour (her husband, M) had soon after used her laptop and noticed the thread open in her browser. He, of...

Nycindie, Thank you for clarifying your earlier post. I apologize if I came across as defensive. I am just doing everything in my power to approach this new situation with knowledge, understanding, and compassion and doing my best to ensure there are as few problems as possible. I recognize...

Nycindie, I appreciate your frankness. However, it was made abundantly clear (from my perspective) to my wife that I wanted both of them to be cleared of any communicable diseases before they had sex for the first time. I don't feel that is an unreasonable request, given the circumstances. I...

I don't disagree... He does tend to obsess and agonize by constantly thinking and worrying about what will happen. He and I have discussed how things might move forward, and he has stated that he understands there will always be feelings of fear and uncertainty and that he will need to just...

Graviton, I appreciate your point and believe me, I feel your frustration... But as "fucked up" and childish as it might seem, my partner and her husband made a commitment to each other when they were married, and have only altered that commitment to include female partners up to this point. I...

The nature of his childhood trauma has a lot to do with why he becomes so irrational and emotional about the idea of his wife with another man. He has been very candid with me about his past experiences, and I totally understand how the two are related. I don't think it is social conditioning...

Another great weekend and some steady progress made. After being unable to make his appointments over the last month, M opened up to his therapist about his childhood trauma... She seems to think that his difficulty and aversion to G and I being physically intimate hinges on this traumatic...

Wow! Thank you all for all of the positive feedback and encouragement!! It means a lot to me to see folks who have more knowledge and experience practicing polyamory supporting my decisions and the way I've approached this situation. I am very hopeful about what the future may bring :D

What a day... Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster... The day was going like any other, I went into work and was talking with G via text messages. After a couple of hours, I get a message from her saying that M was offered an *incredible* job opportunity. Essentially his dream job that...

I'm warming up to the idea of my wife being intimate with B... The thought does not produce such negative gut feelings anymore, and I am very close to giving my blessing. Luckily, she has been understanding about my discomfort and has been patient with me as we go through this process. Both...

Been a week since my last post. Lots to share. First off, I learned that G happened upon this forum thread and read through my comments here... Was purely accidental and she couldn't stop reading after seeing enough to realize what it was (I doubt I could have, in her position). I had been...

Looking for some suggestions... My wife has been pushing for us to talk about her relationship with this new man (I will call him "B") over the last couple of days. After feeling like my repeated attempts to set a boundary were being rebuffed, I got frustrated and we had a very heated argument...

Had a second date with G last night! At the fair. And in line for a ride, she asked if I wanted to be her boyfriend :D She seemed really nervous about bringing it up and said she wasn't sure if I wanted to "be" anything specific. Obviously, I was ecstatic and accepted! So, it's official...

Thanks, nycindie. You bring up a good point. I want my wife to be free to explore her sexuality within the boundaries we have both agreed on, and I am not going to stop her from doing so. I guess it is difficult for me to understand the frequency with which men make those sorts of comments to...

It seems I simply need to trust my wife to make decisions regarding who she chooses as a partner, just as I would trust her to make decisions regarding anything else in our lives. My wife has never really dated (she had one serious relationship before meeting me, and we have been together for...

Thanks for the replies... I didn't like reading some of them, but the truth can hurt sometimes. The date came and went, my wife didn't get murdered, she kissed the guy, and we talked about it afterwards. And the earth keeps spinning. I think the "newness" of it all is what threw me for a...

Hello all, I've been a somewhat active poster around here for the last couple of months. I've received a lot of encouraging and honest feedback from the forum regarding my situation and I was hoping I could pose a different question to you all. If you want to know more about my situation than...