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For clarity purposes, we all identify as cis women. B and I have been in a WLW relationship for 16 years. There is no bisexual element attached to this.

Thank you so much for your responses. I know no one is asking anything of me, but I just feel so lost and, I guess, alone. The marriage I was in is, to all intents and purposes, over, and we are reworking a new one. As I have consistently said, I don’t choose poly; I am happy in my mono life...

Hi, Sorry, me again... So B went no contact with D. She bumped into D the other day and has now spiralled and is saying she wants text contact and has not, because of me. I never asked for this, even though I believe it’s a toxic relationship. D has not changed, and in the sporadic contact...

Thank you I am sure at times I could have handled things better. It was very difficult to stand back and watch B get hurt. It was like watching a slow crash I could not help. I understand from therapy and my reading that this is her pain to manage and hold, but have found it difficult to see...

We are both in therapy, both reading all the books and articles. I agree about slowing down. We have been in Oz 11 months. B met D in Jan of this year. (She was her PT instructor.) B has ADHD, so can be impulsive and impatient, but has agreed to being much more deliberate, moving forward. In...

It was non-physical, but we had agreed, should the moment come, then it could progress. Ultimately confusingly for me was, B said she didn’t know if she wanted the physical part, she just wanted it to be an option so she wasn’t cheating. I think B has deep abandonment issues from childhood...

Hello All, So, by way of update, the relationship between B and D is now ended. My wife B is heartbroken. She ended it, as D wasn’t what she needed. I am supporting B as best I can, but it’s tough to watch her in so much pain. She wants to start dating other people, and I have said yes to...

B has made it very clear to D that that won’t happen, so I guess now I have to leave it to them.

It’s weird because, whilst I have initially found the fact of opening up my relationship stressful, what I have found more stressful is this person's behaviour.

Thank you for your support. I hope this gets easier. It’s tough enough adjusting without this complexity.

Yes, and I have no idea how to deal with that. Basically, it’s exactly how I feel. I don’t even think D is poly. I think it’s just about B. She has even told B she doesn’t believe she is poly, it’s just about D. So how do I navigate that?

So D and I became friends, as D and B had talked about us all being friends, as we all have children, and it would be nice to have shared same-sex families in our orbit. (We just moved to Australia from the UK.) Even though I could see the obvious between them, I agreed. I would start spending...

Hi Hi I just want to run past this group the big thing I am struggling with. The other female involved in this developed a friendship with me too and I told her some of my concerns and fears about the changing dynamic with my wife. Throughout this time she assured me that she was just a...

Thank you for this message. As yet, I honestly don’t know what I would get from this, as it is not something I have before considered. But I can see the appeal in having the freedom to date others. My wife makes me very happy, and I still make her very happy. We are still deeply in love and...

I do feel rushed in this because of the other female already being on the scene, and my wife already admitting they are in love, and she has, on a couple of occasions, wanted to kiss her. This has not happened yet, as I am not ready, and neither is my wife or the other couple. Everything I have...

Thank you. We are reading so much. I just don’t want to rush, but want to be respectful too. We have agreed three months of reading and learning, and then couples therapy if we still cannot reach a good place together to help us.

Honestly, I really struggle with the concept. Initially, when we first discussed this, my wife agreed. Now she is unsure. Holidays would be a no currently, as would weekends away, but I guess over time as we learn this new way of life, perhaps I could move to an overnight every now and then...

For me, it's too much. The other F is in a previously long-term mono relationship too, so this is new for all parties. My wife isn’t asking for this, but I feel strongly like this is something I would want to retain. We have so much to learn and navigate and are doing things slowly. I guess I...

I have a specific question. I have always really valued waking up with my wife every morning it’s one of the things I love most. I really struggle with the concept of overnight. I feel more comfortable with my wife coming home and us still falling asleep together and waking up together. Is...

Thanks everyone for your support. My wife and I are going to explore this together gradually and with care until we both feel secure and do not reactivity emotion