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  1. L

    Looking for the impossible

    Why not ? Your post makes me believe that you'd be happier if you had a primary partner living with you and could just focus on that connection, but by some reason you can't have that right now ?
  2. L

    Does polyamory require independence ?

    The bird in your cage ... PinkPig, Yes. I believe the shared home, family and finances make it harder for any of the partners to renegotiate any relationship rules. It is much easier to just say a :mad: NO and shut down a partner who is always by your side and shares the life with you in such...
  3. L

    Does polyamory require independence ?

    Is independence really good ? Thanks for all replies ! Yes Tinwen, it was inspired by that post of yours. SchrodingersCat, could you elaborate more on "romantic connections experienced by asexual people" ? I do remember having romantic desires at very young age, much before puberty. However...
  4. L

    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    Ideas, not feelings... anamikanon, This board is mostly about sharing experiences and asking for help. But I don't have things going on right now, so all I can share are desires and feelings. The responses then help me to develop my ideas, especially when there is "productive criticism". So...
  5. L

    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    Actually, that was old news. I have been lacking on energy to deal with anything. So I refocused on finding new ways to help her with her mental health. Couple of days ago I found myself in an interesting situation were I respected her and told her, then she liked it.
  6. L

    Does polyamory require independence ?

    Kc, thanks for your reply. Nicely put. Sounds like this arrangement couldn't be better. :-) In a mono relationship I guess it would much harder to deal with your health issues, both for you and for him. I hope you find your biological need too, and recover.
  7. L

    Does polyamory require independence ?

    Interconnectivity ... I understand that all human social connections are created through emotional exchanges. You bring something to someone else's life and this person feels good about it. From that general description, we have romantic connections as a more specific type of connection that is...
  8. L

    Does polyamory require independence ?

    Hey there ! This is a philosophical question. Some people see each participant of a poly-amorous group as independent, and believe that the concept of independence must be deeply ingrained in the poly relationship for it to work, to the extent of having financial independence if possible. Do...
  9. L

    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    powerpuffgrl1969, your reply made me laugh, nice humor. :p Out of this board, it doesn't happen the way you think though. Out here it there isn't much verbal exchange. She is not good in understanding lots of words, but she is good in understanding expressions of emotion. So I'm practicing my...
  10. L

    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    Pressure doesn't lead to happiness... You have given a nice description about the problems that result from one partner accepting to do things under pressure. Also, a nice description of codependency as well. However, you have made a few incorrect assumptions, such as assuming that I have never...
  11. L

    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    The cobweb... lunabunny, correct me if I'm wrong, but I noticed that for everything I said in this thread you disagreed and produced detailed counter arguments. Would you disagree with this ? :) Nothing personal for me, but if you could look at what I wrote from a neutral perspective, without...
  12. L

    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    Connecting the dots... Ravenscroft and Tinwen, please feel free to discuss further about the mono-to-poly transition consent. It is very well within what I wish to learn from here. I've read a couple of stories here which are quite interesting. I think the result collected from a "new...
  13. L

    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    Fear of replacement... That's mostly precise. Except that I don't know exactly what would "accept a no" mean in practice. This is not just a desire. It is a core need which won't simply be dissolved over time. Much like the need to have kids (which I have already accomplished). Hence I can...
  14. L

    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    People make assumptions... Refusnik, I have also questioned my wife if she thought feminist movement has always had such 2nd intentions. She explained that no, it originated as a beautiful movement in Europe to protect victimized woman. Decades later, modern media has shown that this movement...
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    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    Recovery allows maturity... Magdlyn, I didn't say she is an anti-feminist. What she explained is that feminist movement, as well as gender ideologies, have been explored by the media as a weapon to disrupt traditional families, ultimately aiming to strengthen the government, and thus there is...
  16. L

    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    Two black rocks are not the same ... rosephase, Thanks for clarifying. I see your story is more interesting then I thought. Let me know best place to read more about it. From all you wrote, I got the conclusion that the triad did help in handling her disorder, something you have recognized...
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    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    Understand your own pain before hers... rosephase, Thanks for sharing your experience, which is very relevant for me. Your story confirms my prediction that any kind of V with two independent legs won't work when one of the partners has such disorder, and then things will tend to get worse...
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    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    We survive before we thrive... Magdlyn, Thanks for going through the entire thread. So much text now. And your input is highly appreciated. It's nice and so interesting to know how has your daughter's life shifted after she found herself accepted and included, by the church and her partner...
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    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    FallenAngelina, You are right, discussion board is the correct word, and I've had plenty of helpful discussions here. Because my thoughts go so deep it may seem as if I already had the responses in forehand, but I have actually come to plenty of insight through this thread. It's only...
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    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    My little chamber... GalaGirl, There is a large gap between what she says and what she does. For instance, she is as far as possible from the idea of leaving the relationship. She is actually looking forward about making the great wedding party we never had and having more kids with me...
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