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Con: NRE causes people to hide their shortcomings.

Yes, yes and YES. I get this in EVERY relationship I've ever been in. I find people are different in the beginning of the relationship - and I seem to end up with those who are paranoid I'll leave so they hide the less savory parts of them until later, and then I find *I* want them to "change"...

I think you're right here - the only successful mono relationships I've ever had were short term. Usually once it hits about a year I'm struggling with not feeling comfortable being close to my friends (some of whom I've known 3 or 4 times as long as the partner I've had at the time!), tired of...

Yeah, that could very well be it. I like to think I'm the kind of gal someone could want that strongly (how egotisitical that sounds...), but I take such serious offense to being viewed as a possession or worse, a porcelain doll. Sometimes I feel like my past mono partners have forgetten I'm a...

I think a lot of that is fear of commitment. Someone who is cheating isn't going to try to get you to commit to them. I have some fear of commitment right now since I've been burned so many times with the "NM, I'm not poly-compatible" thing.

LOL! I've been thinking of rejoining the SCA in hopes of finding more poly people...

I guess that's what my problem is - I'm finding the type of person who is telling me that they could be poly or at least poly-compatible and then turning around as things get truly serious and rescinding that. I feel it is really unfair to me for them to change their minds and I don't know how...

I see a lot of posts asking for advice on how to proceed when their partner is monogamous, I'm wondering if there's anyone here who is poly in all their relationships and with all poly people and has been that way from the beginning? I figure at one point we've all been in monogamous...

Thanks Autumnal! Idealist, I am in central AZ and I am 26. :)

I'm a person of incrediably diverse interests. I'm interested in permiculture farming, nutrition, biochemistry, animal husbandry, sewing, clothing design, psychology, music theory, computers and I spend time collecting data for and maintaining databases on a variety of topics. That's just the...

I've known I was the kind of person who could be poly for the last 10 years - had a few small experiements in it, most of which were with the wrong people whereas those of which were the right people were far too short (due to moving house and gosh I still miss them deeply). Yet I kept trying...