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Maybe she would prefer a don't ask, don't tell scenario? It sounds to me (take with a grain of salt, I'm very much a newbie) like the "rules" aren't very clear on both sides... It sounds to me like she wants to ignore the fact that you may be with other people. She just wants to pretend it's...

You put words to what I'm wrestling with, perfectly. Could be this, could be that, too soon to tell. Is this a "normal" poly viewpoint? I mean I know you can't really call anything normal because every person/relationship/situation is different... I guess: is it common for secondaries to have...

This. Until you make it her problem, she won't see that there is a problem.

I totally see your point. And that's MY preferred pace. But at the same time, just as with mono relationships, it's possible she is just trying to voice her ultimate ideal goals. Maybe not with us, maybe not soon, just her like "dream scenario." Like I said, we'll see...

Thanks. That confirms that I'm not overreacting too much then. We've hung out together the last 3 evenings. I'm hoping after the newness wears off it'll taper off just a tad. She's a single mom herself, so we all have full lives & I'd like for us all to be able to have "family" time as well as...

Haha, I appreciate that. Really. This whole endeavor is a bit scary, so the straight talk on here is very helpful. We chose the terms "bf/gf" because it's just simpler that way. Hubbs & I aren't into a lot of partners, so we would most likely be poly-fi with any secondaries, whether they be...

Wow. Power back a sec. Actually this is something she's made passing comments about & Hubbs & I are just not entirely sure how serious she is about it or how soon she's imagining this happening. I'm INCREDIBLY uncomfortable with it. I feel I would never be comfortable with that idea, honestly...

Does this really exist?? I've decided that, at least for now, this is my perfect situation, but am doubting the reality of it...

I'm curious to hear opinions on the "third" having biological children with a primary? In my situation, Hubbs & I share a girlfriend. She is, at this point, considered a secondary partner. Our "legal" family is the primary & B is more casual. If you were me, how would you feel about B & Hubbs...

Thanks, Jane. As it's only been a couple days, we're still in the process of really getting to know each other. We're all still wound up a bit, none of us planned on this happening & especially not that quickly. I'm not sure if I'm noticing little things to worry about because they're becoming...

Things are going smoothly with B, though we haven't crossed any physical lines yet. Beyond a big 3-way cuddle, which is new territory but not really a big deal. I'm thrilled with the pace & we had the "rules" talk & we're all clear on everything. It's all going well. I'm having a bit of...

Wow. Everything kind of worked itself out. She brought up the triad option, as she was in fact interested in it. Everything is just going so smoothly. It's almost scary. Like everyone is waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm very relieved on the one hand, but very nervous at the same time.

How to proceed?? I posted earlier today about B, a woman I *just* became involved with. She and I have spoken a lot, but only met in person last night. The group meeting consisted of me, Hubbs, B, B's daughter R & My/Hubb's daughter L. Everyone got along great. B turned out to be basically a...

We're not a triad at this point. More a vee. Right now anyway. Hubbs & I are hoping it evolves into a triad, but not holding out breath either. We're really not sure how to broach that subject with her. :/ But yes, even as it is now, it's awesome. :D

Over the weekend, I met a woman online. We really hit it off. Per our rules, Hubbs came with last night to meet B (my GF :D ) in person. She turned out to be amazing. ABSOLUTELY everything I hoped for, but didn't expect. Throughout the text flirting, emails & the mini-date meeting B, Hubbs was...

Haha, cute. :) Thanks for all the responses. I like to make sure I have accurate vocab to properly explain my thoughts. ;)

So much truth! It's funny, as a kid/teen, I swore I would never fall out of touch with what it's like to be a teen, yet just a few short years later here I sit. :o The grandparents would be the issue here, too. :rolleyes:

I meant to respond to this sooner, but got distracted. Apologies! I absolutely love the approach your friend took. Thank you for sharing that! Also, in regards to the first paragraph, that makes perfect sense. I guess my concern/confusion comes from kids, at least in my experience, seeing...

Thanks for the response. I think, when you get down to it, my dream for her, and any future children, is happiness. I think I want certain things, selfishly, sometimes, but bottom line I just want my kids happy & healthy & satisfied no matter what path they choose. While I may not *I'm going to...

Excellent. Thank you. Cleared right up. :D