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Hey, Brave. Just wanted you to know I'm out here, and you can reach out any time. Here, email, whatever. I think I'm so moved by what you're doing, because my own husband wasn't able to do this for/with me. It doesn't make him a bad person, but it made me really really sad that I was heading...

Everyone is, yes, different. Being a secondary worked, in some ways, "better" for me when I still had a primary relationship (or any other romantic relationships). Right now, my secondary relationship with my partner is my ONLY relationship, and I don't know that it's incredibly healthy for...

I can't assess hijacky nature; too new here. But I'm grateful for what you have to say, BG. I think maybe my partner's wife DOES get first dibs. I am wondering if that can be okay with me.

Yep. Secondary's Bill of Rights--that is indeed what I was thinking of. I sought it out back when I was new to poly and feeling aggrieved, lol. It was sobering to see that pretty much all of the "rights" suggested in the document were already in place for me in my relationship! I was still...

Brave, it's okay to be okay and not okay with it, you know? It's a new thing for you, it's a big deal. You sound like you're in a good emotional space with Val, that both of you have put in a lot of work on your relationship while she develops another with Callie. You've made plans to occupy...

This resonated with me, BG. My partner obviously limits the time he spends with me (I'm a secondary, he's the hinge in our Vee). I am sure the time we spend together is a topic of conversation between him and his wife. (In fact, I know it is, since when we plan things out in advance, he...

Thanks, BG! I'm glad I didn't use that in my user name--I came very close! For me, it's a term that means I'm joyfully self-sufficient and kicking up my heels after several decades of stressful and not very joyful monogamy. But I'm glad to know not to toss it around in poly circles!

I'm a secondary in a vee relationship. My partner has been married to his wife for 20 years. He and I have been together for almost six of them. I know his wife; we have socialized a bit but not a lot--she doesn't have much interest in being my friend, and I'm mostly okay with that. I'm not...

Newbie question: what does "cowgirl" mean in poly parlance? (Having just moved west of the Mississippi for the first time in five decades, I'm actually having fun wearing boots and playing at being a cowgirl, but if it's got some weird negative connotation, that would be good to know.) And...

Well, sort of. I wasn't looking for an outside relationship, poly or otherwise, to improve my failing marriage. I stumbled into one (I did not meet my bf online in a dating forum; I was researching a story for an article I was writing and met him as a resource). And yes, absolutely, I...

BraverySeeker, GalaGirl, you both write so beautifully and from the heart. I think I could fall for either of you in a heartbeat. I love your authenticity and how well you express it. Bravery, I was where Callie was, in a rocky marriage for 25 years, to a basically decent guy who was challenged...

When I met my bf, we were both married. He was in an open poly marriage (though he had never acted on it; she had a couple of times--both short-term relationships). He had thought he would avoid someone who was married--until he met and fell in love with me. He had thought he would avoid...

In and Out I'm a soon-to-be-single mom (my husband and I separated three years ago over my newly discovered poly nature, among many other issues). I've been a secondary with my married bf for over five years. I am open and out with all my friends and family members. I am out with some of my...

Thanks, Kevin! I'm guessing you're one of the official welcomers. So I feel officially welcome!

Hi all, New here, but not new to polyamory. 52-year-old soon-to-be-divorced single mom, a secondary in a LTR with a lovely man. (Three guesses as to what caused my divorce? I learned the hard way that discovering one is poly or capable of being poly 25 years into one's marriage goes over...