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Yeah, you've hit the nail on the head here, I think. Mono people just immediately jump to some romantic notion in their head, like you're always on the beach at sunset sipping wine with your loved one, and a new person is taking time away from that. But as you say, you don't really WANT to...

You are right, Amobrasil, level-headed people that don't need too much approval are rare. Which is why I thought it a shame, after having talked to our unicorn, that she was the typical, "Well, whatever works for you guys." She wasn't a bisexual when I met her, either. So possibly you could...

Love is infinite? If you consider that meeting someone takes time, and you only have limited time, you will see that love is indeed limited. The time you spend in bed on the Sunday morning with your existing love(s) is less time you spend finding new ones. Furthermore, the human brain can only...

It sounds like your unicorns are rather weak-willed people. Weak-willed people rely heavily upon the acceptance of others, so it should be an alert going off in your head when you meet yet another one. For what it's worth, our unicorn wasn't into poly either, when we first started talking. I...

BTW, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with wanting kids 2 months into a relationship.... provided both people have wanted them for a while and know about all the ... things it involves. The guy doesn't fit that bill, though maybe the GF does?

It's sweet how everyone is acting here I think, the care being shown. However to me it seems the OP is currently driving a bus, except she didn't know how to drive when she took over the wheel and is learning while dodging traffic. If she is at this current stage, 12 years into a relationship...

What is an emotional response to something? Is it effectively knowing when to lie? The island scenario from Hurricane, for instance-- if you want to survive, you know what you need to do. However, at least for me, I know what others want to hear most of the time, and could tell them, "No I...

Agreed. What does having sex with someone you've known for a few weeks/months give you vs a multi-year relationship? I don't know how people can so easily wrong their supposed loved ones. If it's too hard for you to be honest and committed with people you love, I don't see how adding more...

Yes, but housework still needs to get done, and when you come home from work, you're not tired? If you're not tired, I guess you have a job which isn't very taxing. I don't know how many people as a percentage can say such things about their job. Sure, it's not impossible to be a single...

Isn't this a big generalization itself? Speaking for many single parents now, are we? Not that I mind generalizations, but if you're going to criticize someone for making them... ;) The reality is this, in the modern world, finances are required to live. If you can't properly support yourself...

"UNICORNS" aren't as rare as people think. It seems you're getting on in years, so if I were you, I would target women that are raising kids by themselves. They are very interested in financial and parenting support, and are more willing to overlook other things like "non-monogamy."

I'm going through the same thing. I am in a long-term formerly mono couple, now open to being in a triad. I think it depends on the people involved. For some of the women we tried with, it was harder, while some were easier. Some women made my girlfriend more jealous, others not so much, and it...

There's nothing inherently wrong with wanting to feel "special". I mean who wouldn't want to meet a poly woman and then have them not be interested in starting up a new relationship with someone else for a long time or not again? It means she's really into you. Personally I would feel like I was...

It feels worse I'm guessing because the first guy was being "replaced" by you in your mind when you met her. So you feel like the victor since she chose you "most recently" . Now after having met you and been with you she has found someone else. In a way it's part of that feeling like "I wasn't...

Hey, you compare me at 23 to now, not many years later, and I am completely different! Completely! But if you told 23-year old me that, I would say you're a fool. At every stage of your growth/development/psychosis/regression you'll have people that will be there saying things like, "Yeah...

What's wrong with raising the veil of ignorance? There's nothing inherently wrong in my mind with growing into something better. But to each their own. Sounds interesting. I'm somewhat similar to you in thoughts about society. Though, of course, in a real anarchist society you'd need some...

What you describe with these other women I'm sure nearly every man has felt at some stage whilst in a committed monagamous relationship. So you're not special in that regard. It's simply that most mono people do nothing about it (or cheat), because that's how we are raised. The best way to...

Not by any conventional measure. If you would care to supply one I would appreciate it. Yes, everyone has different ideas of what is attractive. Some people find obese people attractive, others find very hairy women attractive, but they are minorities. I'm sure some people find wrinkles, saggy...

It's important to realize everyone has needs. It sounds like he enjoys doing those things with her, maybe it's because he hasn't been able to enjoy it with you for a while, due to your sickness? It's a hard thing with a triad, balancing the needs of all three people. But you should be getting...

This is sounding good! Oh yeah, baby... Aww! ----- Back to OP Besides what "old" women tell you about confidence going up, and all that (which is true, I believe, in some instances), you only have a young body once. Use it while you got it to find someone great. A 43-year old body is less...