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Thanks to both of you. I really appreciate the advice. I have been honest with both of the folks I'm sleeping with right now, and I have been very good at communicating where I'm at and why. One of them is a friend I've known for a long while and they "get" it. The other is a newer friend, but...

So here's the thing. I have been in three serious relationships over the last year+. One ended in November of '13. One ended in July of this year and was excruciating. Another ended in October and I'm still dealing with some of the mess (we're technically still married but separated and the...

Hello there! Haven't been on in a long time... School has owned my soul for the past few semesters and I tend to keep pretty busy. I'm wondering if anyone on here has any advice or resources to give someone who's recently broken up. My spouse and I were dating someone else together for about 9...

Um, yes. There's very little space in our language for "people who are more important to me than friends, but I don't want to marry or am not married to yet." I default to "partner" because I and my spouse are genderqueer, which makes this conversation extra special, but before we both moved...

Yeah, I live in a pretty supportive bubble for the most part. I think because I've been out about so much else in my life, the number of people I have around who would potentially care about this is relatively small. It's astonishing to me that as each new aspect of myself comes forward, there...

The older I get, I wonder how many more closets I will find myself stuck in, from being queer, to being an atheist, to be trans*, to being non-monogamous... All of these pieces of my identity are valid parts of my life that are, unfortunately, contentious to some, or even appalling. (If any of...

Yeah, I'm not particularly bothered by the term "swinger." I've been to swinger events and play parties and my partner and I have been trying to arrange one in our town. I don't think it's an inherently dirty word, but there are things that are problematic about the swinging events I've been to...

I suppose that is one important distinction I should make. My partner and I are non-monogamous, but I wouldn't say polyamorous. We're okay with sleeping with others (usually those who are close friends and have similar relationship goals) but I wouldn't say we date others. I know some folks have...

I've been doing a lot of soul searching since then. I've realized that nearly every relationship I've ever had has been non-monogamous, some under what I would call successful and consensual conditions, and others not so much, yet it always feels new each time. I've realized so much about my...

...Actually, it's more like diction and spelling Nazi wars. I'll stop, I'll stop!!!!!!

According to Merriam-Webster: "2 : to pass through or into by or as if by making a hole." So not necessarily making a hole, but passing something into an existing hole. Some words have multiple and/or lesser known meanings. ...And by the by: "There is far to much emphasis on threesomes in poly...

I asked my fiancé, and he acquiesced to me contacting the girl in question. She and I exchanged a few emails back and forth, and I felt instantly better. I mean, instantaneous. She and the fiancé were both in the Rocky Horror cast in our city at various times, so I suggested we could all meet up...

I'm hoping we have more in common than just looks. The thought has of course crossed my mind that if he's into her and into me, we are probably people that would get along. He's very vague about things sometimes. He didn't promise he would use condoms, but I voiced my strong preference for him...

And I could really use some advice! My fiancé (and primary partner) and I decided to open up our relationship some months back, for a number of reasons, but primarily because polyamory has always appealed to me, and I was seriously crushing on a female friend of mine. I told my fiancé when we...

I hear ya loud and clear on that one... I have been focusing on them both, and reassuring both of them in regard to their importance to me. I know Sylvia isn't ready to date others, but I went with Oliver to the mall with a girl she's been courting yesterday. This poor girl is stuck in a rather...

I've posted a few nervous Nelly posts on here in the "New to Polyamory" section, but I'm pleased to report that I've finally decided to open up my relationship with my fiancé, and I've been seeing a friend of mine for the last month or so. Things have been going really well... My fiancé, (we'll...

Very cool! That's awesome that you're trusted enough to receive your own key!

Karelia, dunno if this will help, but I'm currently in a V. I started off dating my fiancé, and have recently begun dating another woman I have been friends with for a while. (I guess it's not technically a true V, because I don't rule out he possibility that I might date others, and my fiancé...

It seems quite unfair to me that your wife has decided exactly how she wants her poly family to be constructed without actually consulting you or taking your desires into consideration. She's allowed to move some guy in and you don't have veto power, and you're also not allowed to casually date...

Good food for thought, Mono. I have seen a lot of relationships fail, in my own life and in my parents' (they've both been married and divorced three times apiece) but I think it was more due to incompatibility and inability to compromise than anything. It's hard to say for sure. Although maybe...