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Epilogue -- the curse of an interesting life It seems that a lifetime ago I posted some questions here, and many (redacted) details of my tumultuous experience with mono-poly relationships. About a year after posting here last, I got a rare job offer -- the kind that would make or break my...

A bit more about the Now Thank you, Erato. A quick update about where things are: N and I are doing well, being nice and loving towards each other, and starting to recall what the point of this marriage was to begin with. G and I speak almost every day; she's planning to relocate closer to...

LSD FTW, or not I live with my wife N. My girlfriend G is three time zones away. My (ex) sweetie, K, couldn't deal with the LDR thing. I think G can deal better because she's more mature and has other boyfriends. I was K's first serious relationship in a long time, and we just couldn't make it...

Psychic blinders "healthy relationship" - of course not. I tried to make our relationship healthy. I spent years, and tears, and thousands of dollars. But a healthy relationship is, by definition, one in which all participants feel that they gain more than they lose. Both she and I aren't sure...

New to poly? ha ha! Thank you erato and anotherbo for your posts, I feel they both capture part of what's going on in a useful way. But before I respond in any way, I must laugh at having this thread moved to "new to poly". The first explicit consentual extramarital romantic involvement we had...

The waffling isn't about whether she would like a poly relationship -- she prefers monogamy. The waffling is about what level of opening up she can be happy with. (Please note: "be happy" and not "put up"). Why indeed? I don't know. There have been multiple times when "mis-communication" about...

Sure - we need to come to a place that is healthy for both N and me. We shouldn't just stay together because of the kids. We know unhappy parents set a very poor example, even poorer than separated or divorced parents who are happy. We've been trying to do that for a long time. What I'm trying...

I've come to this site mostly for advice, and to get that advice I would need to tell a big part of my story. This thread is where it will happen. But before I begin, let me ask my overarching question: when do you draw the line and decide to make big, life altering decisions that will have...

It's a bit hard for me to answer since there was always too much drama going on... For me, the only times I have been "completely content" in any real way were when I had the right mix of partners and they were all nice to each other. By "right mix" I mean that I had someone with whom to share...

Looking for some perspective I'm Z, 38, and married to N for 9 years. We started out not quite monogamous -- but the unspoken premise was conventional monogamy. We opened up the relationship multiple times, and I dated other women. Through this experimentation and the excruciatingly painful...