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The chapter in Ethical Slut about jealousy I think also applies to guilt. You should check it out. It was hugely helpful to me. My hurt is my own, and usually what I need is for her to acknowledge it, tell me she loves me and then go about her business. If you try to own his hurt, it will just...

That's a great way to put it. I'm doing okay, much better than a week ago. It's helped a lot to be able to share part of my story, and read similar (or very different stories) from others. -D

:-) yup, I understand. Feel free to drop me a line if you want the reluctant partner perspective on anything.

In many ways, I've nurtured her in our relationship, and we've realized that I had a patronizing edge, which was not what either of us wanted. Now she seems all grown up, which is awesome, but makes me feel unneeded. At the same time, I'm dependent on her to take care of me in other areas, and...

Ask him what he recommends Maybe tell him you feel that you need intimacy/sex, and ask him what you could do that would work for him. You might not get an answer, but hopefully you will get him to consider that it's his problem too, not just yours.

Thanks, Fish. This has been a painfully eye-opening experience for me, and it's really gotten me to consider how I love. There are so many subtle undertones of control, neediness and ownership and I'm trying to wash a lot of that away. It's not fun, but I feel like I'm growing. At the same...

Thanks River There is a lot here - looking forward to interacting and sharing. Thanks for the welcome.

Hard transition I'm the husband in your situation, and it isn't easy. I haven't read Opening Up, but my wife and I are reading "The Ethical Slut". The chapter on Jealousy has been extremely helpful and eye opening to me. Its a door that you can't close once you crack it open, for better or worse.

Hello, Married for over 10 years, two wonderful kids. We are just starting with an open marriage (my wife's idea) and it's a struggle for me. I'm looking for a support group.