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Definitely! Thank you for the recommendation, it's going on my reading list.

This excerpt from a book was in my FB news feed this morning and I think it expresses how I feel very accurately, and I think Poly as a relationship structure is very conducive to being in relationship as a "spiritual practice" because of the work it forces you to do in controlling your ego. In...

I was a "lifestyler" and I've been involved as a "secondary" with a married couple whom I would also classify as "lifestyler"s. Long story short: my spouse and I are getting divorced but remaining friends. My spouse's "secondary" is now his "primary" and they remain open. I am no longer...

So maybe we have two things going on here, Marcus has brought in a hard-line approach that you're responding to, and I misinterpreted that as a response to the original question of the thread. Honestly, I thought you hit on something worth pointing out. Maybe you haven't struggled with cultural...

Yeah, I guess I thought we were just fleshing out our ideas about things. Sorry you felt like I was picking a fight with you.

That's great nycindie, but this is a thread about responding to the larger "western culture"'s skepticism toward a different way of relating. Or maybe I'm mistaken. I think it's worth pointing out how the context of our culture plays into our ability to practice autonomous living. You sound like...

Thanks for sharing this, I didn't know such a scale existed but it is actually something I've been thinking about. I feel like it's important for me to recognize that people are at different stages of developement in their ego, self-awareness, or whathaveyou; and that depending on the stage...

I think you've hit the nail on the head here. When I talk to my confidante about my choices and my reasons she often makes the same argument as above - her marriage is a monogamous agreement that both partners made willingly and she does not feel limited in her freedom in any way. Enter...

Good point nycindie, but that has been my experience and those are my reasons.. I think autonomous living and jealous control happen on a spectrum. I think monogamy as a social institution and jealous control are a mutually reinforcing system - the one begets the other, they need eachother to...

The writers of Sex at Dawn have created a site, it is called kotango, it is still very new but it is non-monogamy oriented.

It's a good question. Not sure I have a good answer for it... but I'll throw this out there: "I prefer autonomy-based relationship rather than possessive-style relationships" And to the jealousy argument, which is usually the pinnacle for monogamists, I like to remind people that jealousy is...

Libra, mouthy? Never! Mouthy sounds like fire to me, not air. Air is too busy contemplating and Libra is too worried about how the words will sound coming out of the mouth. I have Mars in Saggitarius and that is something I can attribute a little mouthiness to! Luckily my impulse to blurt out...

Google, good ol' google...

Malfunktions, I do enjoy astrology and have actually been thinking a lot about the sign of Aquarius lately since I've recently gotten involved with a man who is not just Sun, but also Moon, Mars and Venus in Aquarius. I thought an Aquarius would be perfect for me since I am Leo rising, however...

This mantra, repeated to myself, helps remind me of the acceptance I seek: "I forgive you for not loving me the way I want to be loved. I release you to love who and how you want to love." Obviously, they don't need my permission, but for some reason, I feel better giving it to the other on an...

Yes but she also states this as an added question: "What made you decide to limit outside interactions to these categories instead of allowing for other relationships?" To me, this clearly represents someone trying to define poly for herself and her partner. If this site is not intended for...

I think there are lots and lots of threads on this forum that go into semantics and that the semantics as they relate to "non-monogamy" are broad and broadly interpreted. Why suddenly shut down discussion? There are also tons of threads on here that talk about the progression from one form of...

Be clear about the similarities and diffences each person in the primary couple has about what "poly" or "open" means to them; and also how they intend to handle the differences. They should have this discussion before seeking out other partners. The couple should be able to present an...

me four... so started a new one.

perhaps NOT really about FWB... This thread is an outgrowth of the thread that I would agree, was wrongly shut down. mmfox wanted to discuss friends with benefit arrangements, seems like a totally appropriate discussion for this forum. So, try again? I think the issue has to do with...