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This is a subject I would love to talk about a bunch. Right now I have two working definitions that I use for love. 1) Love-as-action: This is the type of love that I try to embody and give to everyone around me. It means showing loving behavior through being ethical, honest, and kind, as...

Thinking of you and hoping things are going well for you, LR.

Good luck!

I have lost a lot of things. I lost my husband and our nearly six year relationship. I lost a lot of friends. I lost a lot of naivete, and I lost a lot of fear. In the past year, I've lost my home, my dreamt of future, and a lot of nasty codependent behaviors. I've gained myself. I've...

Poly has been one of the single largest catalysts for personal growth I've had in my life. I actually completely agree with you on that. I shines light into all the dark corners of yourself and your relationships and doesn't let you unsee the dust bunnies lurking there. Everything has to be...

I'd like to speak up and say D'Souza is a horribly unbalanced source. I've read a book of his, America: Imagine a World Without Her and it was full of horrible logical leaps and really unethical things like associating homosexuality with pedophilia. He's plead guilty to illegal campaign...

I'm going to be a bit of a dissenting voice from the majority of people in here. It seems like a lot of people are trying to foist a trauma on you when that might not be necessary or something you are actually feeling. How do YOU feel about it? In your perfect world, do you like the idea of...

If I were you, I'd avoid her, like many in the topic have already said. You don't owe her anything, and unless there is something you think you stand to gain from having a conversation with her, then there is no reason to have one. It has been my experience that manipulative and controlling...

It is really difficult to communicate how frustrating it is that people assume that the notion of anarchy automatically has people being total asshats willy nilly and not giving a damn about their fellow human beings. It is absolutely beneficial to the self to engage in prosocial behavior. I...

I will also offer my ear if you'd like to PM anyone LR. I know I'm a total stranger, but if it is something you think would help, I'm open to having a conversation for you to vent or bounce ideas around or whatever. I've managed to stop making my brain thinking in those ways, but it has been...

I see no need for any duty or obligation to any people in my life, no matter what my relationship to them. I do not see anybody else in my life as having any duty or obligation to me. Here's the thing. If someone starts showing me that I can't rely on them for support, then I should not...

I'll have to check Maleficent out at some point. I can definitely relate to the feeling of withdrawing and not trusting or being cold. For me it has started becoming more of being jaded with the idea of attachment, and not so much love itself. Not sure if that makes sense, but I'm able to...

Kommander, can I quote you elsewhere on this? I'm part of a group on Facebook called Relational Anarchy, and this is so relevant to the discussion going on there it's uncanny.

I'm in a very similar boat to LR on that at the moment. Being burned by people who pretend to respect you and your decisions but actually want to control you and emotionally manipulate you really sucks. I did many things thinking I was being "respectful" and "supportive" of my partners'...

Yeah uh, relationship anarchy does nowhere mean that you have to have fluid bonded sex with all of your partners if you have fluid bonded sex with any of them. That would be a major red flag for me too. Relationship anarchy means that you get to decide what each of your relationships mean to...

Everyone has the ability to make choices regarding their own sexual health. You get to choose whether or not to insist on condoms with your boyfriend. He gets to choose whether to insist on condoms with his other girlfriend or accept that you might insist on using condoms with him. She gets...

I completely disagree that a person has a responsibility to their partner(s) to have approval. That flies in the face of everything relationship anarchy is about, as far as I can see. If you don't want to identify as relationship anarchist personally, that is fine, but people can absolutely...

*hugs*

While polyamory and relationship anarchy are different concepts, certainly, I don't think they are in any way exclusive concepts. One can be both, and most relationship anarchists are likely polyamorous in nature (though I'm sure there are always exceptions out there). I am both. Polyamory...

The only thing that really makes me uncomfortable on that level is stuff having to do with sexual safety in someone I'm fluid bonded with, especially if we do establish that we have different levels of comfort. Having the full disclosure there means that I can make decisions about how...