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If you keep punishing yourself and thinking of yourself as a terrible human being, you will keep acting in ways that support that viewpoint. You are human. You were scared. You made some mistakes. You can always choose differently moving forward. If you would forgive someone else for the...

For me, full honesty is crucial. Unless there is some really major issue going on right now that needs to take priority for the mental/emotional/physical well-being of the both of you, I would plan to come clean as soon as possible. I don't believe it's possible to truly love a person if you...

LR, I just want to say that your blog is speaking to me so loudly lately. I realized some codependent tendencies within myself last week, and have spent the time since trying to change my habits and stop mothering the people in my life. Reading this helps to keep me on track, to feel like I'm...

I almost always bring my own, especially since I have a latex sensitivity and most people don't just have latex-free condoms laying around even if they do stock condoms.

*HUGS* I'm really sorry you're going through this, LR.

That sounds like a definite positive step. I'm glad she's taking some initiative to discuss and think with you about something you are curious about. It doesn't mean she will ever want to act on it or want you to act on it, but it is showing that she does consider your desires and you as a...

I think I've been the victim of narcissism for two relationships in a row now. Obviously this is just based off of what I've read online, but it seems to make sense for a lot of things I've experienced. I know that both did an incredible job of making me feel like I was crazy until I stop...

At both conventions that I've been to (Loving More and Beyond the Love), pictures are sometimes tricky because there are usually a lot of people around the convention that don't feel comfortable having their picture taken or published for fear of being outed. At Beyond the Love (I'm on the...

I will say that Loving More is a great convention. I had a lot of fun there this year and I look forward to going again next year. There is also a good one in Columbus, Ohio in November, if that is something you'd be interested in looking into in future years if not this one. Sorry to hear...

Short answer: Yes. Medium-length answer: While I do believe in what I call "god," it is something I think about much differently than I gather the majority of society does from what I've been able to observe. No personal sky-daddy. To me, the entirety of existence IS god. That means that we...

I think you are right on this. I know there is not malicious intent and that is what makes it harder to confront it.

You are right. I should not be minimizing the work that he is doing. He is doing more to show up to the table and tonight actually did something very meaningful for me. He asked me to be brutally honest with him about how I felt about some things. I asked what he meant and he said to really...

Had first counseling appointment today, and hopefully another next Wednesday, but the psychologist isn't available again after that until September 18th. R has taken away his request about my first time with J being with condoms, and has even told me I don't have to wait a month if I don't...

Welcome! If you didn't already know about it, the Dayton area has a pretty good local community, and the Columbus area has an incredibly active local community that a lot of people from Dayton come out to meet with from time to time. The Dayton Meetup group is found here...

On a societal level, I'm definitely socialist-leaning, but in micro-personal interactions, I'm very much like Ayn Rand. I'm learning how not to let the needs of others dictate my own happiness and not to always feel like I owe people something just because they want it from me.

I feel like making the third movie into a musical would put the perfect amount of mockery on a very failed endeavor. I also liked the book despite myself, and fully agree and can't believe I didn't think of it sooner.

OMG HexHex is a ton of fun. I'd look into a game called Love Letter as well. Quick moving and fairly simple, but fun. :-)

To a certain extent down the line, it will become an issue of trusting your partners to select wisely when it comes to sexual partners, and for everybody to keep each other informed. You can ask for just about anybody to take a test, but they do have the right to refuse. At that point, it is...

It might be worth it for some people. It was worth it to me the last two times, but I'm starting to see it as a major red flag as far as marking someone I don't want to invest a lot of time or energy in. These types of people tend to be involved in a lot of drama and fighting with their...

Having been in a position in my last two relationships to remind my partner to be more mindful of the feelings of their existing partner, I refuse to do this anymore. 1) It is a huge red flag. If they ignore or are disrespectful to their existing partner, then it doesn't bode well for the...