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You are probably right about the term "triad" meaning three, without specifying the configuration. I'm still learning myself what all these labels indicate, but mainly I wanted to clarify what your relationship with Anna was, and how that might influence various decisions/motives. The reasons...

First, great job talking to your Anna and getting a clear position from her. But, I'll admit a bit of confusion. In the past, you've called your situation a V, but in this post you call it a triad. Not to be a label diva, but that may make a difference, which I will explain in a minute. I'm...

MWmama, thanks so much for working past your initial response to hear what I was saying. Mainly, I know how much it would wound me if my poly husband saw my struggles with his polyamory as a lack of love on my part. I wish my love for him could transform me into a poly person (or even a mono...

You accept the fact that he is mono, and yet you made decisions to compromise your mono relationship with him. So, what does "accepting mono" mean in this case? I heard you saying that "accepting" his monogamy meant telling him he didn't love all of you because he was mono and doesn't know if...

You're welcome. It actually helped me understand myself to voice/write it.

I think it is really unfair to say that his struggle with this indicates he doesn't love all of you. Do you love all of him, even his mono part? How are you showing love to that part? Isn't this entire post about how you hate and resent what his mono parts are asking of you? That it is unfair...

First, thank you so much for sharing your struggle with this. The scenario you describe is one I fear I will find myself in eventually. My husband (of 20 mono years) has recently gone poly. I am very much mono. And as much as I love him (and I really do-- we have an incredible relationship), I...

Hubby and I just watched the movie Hump Day and it was fantastic! It briefly touches on the idea of poly, but is mostly about the idea that human sexuality is not fixed, but flexible and fluid. The movie was unscripted and has such a raw, real, genuine feel it blew us both away. Best movie...

So I am mono, and a fairly strong introvert, which brings its own challenges (and advantages) into a mono/poly dynamic. I was just wondering how many people here identify as introverts, how many as extroverts, and what your partner is (intro or extro), and what their OSO's are? To be clear, I...

HeHe. Oh, I like that one.

Who is Monolicious? Hey there, I'm monolicious. I am a 42 year old monogamous woman in a wonderful 20 year marriage living in New Zealand. We also have two teenage children. Two years ago, my husband came out as poly without having any infidelitious relationship. He just discovered the...

I need a laugh today and was thinking about the fact that my poly husband needs a warning label attached. It would read something like this. WARNING: This human being is higher than fuck-buddy grade. He is highly potent (hehe) and a small sampling will make you want more (probably a deep...

He is an amazing poly man, husband, partner. I sometimes whine a little about how perfectly he has led us into polyland, because it doesn't give me any "real" excuse to balk. In other words, I have to kinda make stuff up to be upset about :D (which of course I can do on occasion). I'm thrilled...

I think it is a common occurrence, in mono-turned-poly relationships, for the original opener to feel fine from their end, but to have trouble when the tables are turned. I don't see this so much as a double standard, as the fact that thinking about things is not the same as feeling them when...

Hey, Thanks so much for friending me. Trying to carve out a group of friends who can relate to and fully support my mono/poly adventure. I've been impressed by the insight and level of maturity your posts reflect. Cheers, monolicious

Oh, I'm totally aware of the poly prejudice as well, and I think it makes me equally sad (though it doesn't hit me as personally). But I often feel like I'm riding a rare fence- living a mono life with a poly partner. Poly communities and forums don't exactly address my issues, and neither...

I don't know if it is independence as much as being an introvert for me (not speaking for Phoenix). I am an introvert (meaning I gain energy from being alone but lose energy by being with people- especially a lot of people I don't know). My poly husband is an extrovert (meaning he gains...

I believe I have done this, though I don't believe you can ever remove the love/relationship aspect completely from any poly/mono decision process because making a decision about a relational model is about relationships (not just logic). I suppose a Vulcan could do it, but I assumed you were...

After 18 years of monogamous, fidelitous, marriage, my husband came out poly. I identify very strongly as mono. So how did I cross that line. Great question. First- I had to put monogamy in its place. I had to ask myself the question "Who did I marry and love?" Did I marry and love monogamy...

What have I gained from my husband going poly? 1. Firmer identity and understanding of my own relational needs/style. I'm very much mostly mono. 2. Openness-- notice I now say "mostly mono." That is my preferred, natural, comfortable mode. However, I suddenly find myself feeling more open to...