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I spent this weekend with Squeeze. :) I am so very smitten. I'm starting to feel so much more comfortable around him. I had a GREAT time! I caught a ride into his town with one of his close friends. Friend and I got on well, and the three of us went out for dinner, then played rock band...

I spoke with Squeeze on the phone last night, and just went ahead and brought up the topic of (non)exclusivity and sex. I had a practice bit from a friend with experience, and I pretty much went from her step 1 right to something much more me.... Which is good. I've been trying to be more and...

I didn't bring up polyamory at either date.... I'm typically slow to warm up, and spend most of a first date (or first several dates) deciding if I feel the person is someone around whom I can be comfortable, and at what pace. I had spoken with him on the phone a couple of times, but since we...

Oh yeah... And the first date was fantastic. So was the second. The third is planned for next weekend.

Nycindie, I totally get what you mean about missing your husband and being happy with a lover at the same time. Lots of my friends don't, though some do. It's not that I feel I need to find someone to be in a poly tangle with me right away. Or perhaps even ever. I sort-of fell into a poly...

BlackUnicorn, I'm attempting to think things ahead, and not pinning my hopes on this one date. I think that having a date I was *actually excited about* is what triggered the feelings. I wanted to deal with them as they came up, so that when I am ready to talk with someone about what kind of...

I started practicing poly a few years ago with my husband, because it was important to him. I learned not only to accept it, but also to enjoy it. I've been involved in a loving but "secondary" relationship for about two years now, and separated from my husband for about 18 months. The two...

I read a book which I think was called "Open". It had a wedding ring on the cover, and it was a biography of a woman and the transition she and her husband made from monogamous to open to meet her needs. I was struggling, trying to adapt to my husband's call for change.. I found The Ethical...

I understood that the danger talk was a spin-off, but it's helpful to be reminded of these things too. I'll post how it goes after I see him.

Nycindie, thankyou so much for the little boot of reality. (Yes, the camping trip WAS the time we spent together - and I was expecting my lover's girlfriend to be there, but she backed out at the last minute due to work.) I think I'll feel better when I'm sure that I've been clear about my...

You're right, he didn't say anything, he just seemed disappointed. Maybe he was just sad he didn't get one. I did feel some kind of pressure, and do still I guess. I don't think he has disrespected my boundaries at all. He is quite gentlemanly and would certainly not push me to do something...

I had planned to go camping with my lover's girlfriend, and a mutual friend of ours to a group camping event. Not a poly camp, but a recreational club with chapters in different towns. We're not really "out" and most of our friends, including the one we were going camping with, just assume...

Agreed, when my ex-husband asked me to try poly, I very much felt that I was giving something to the women he saw. Some of them I wanted to give to, others not, depending mostly upon whether they were also acknowledging the gift or not... I wish you all three the best.

Well, I'm a solo poly at the moment and loving it. Not really sure if I will be forever, but I enjoy it now and remain open to what might come up. I wouldn't move in with my lover, though I think he and his GF would be up for it. I need my space too. Lots of it. In fact, I try not to visit...

Redpepper, I've noticed a similar divide. Not necessarily in the poly community, but in the world at large, over the family-friendly and the child-free. I know you have lots of questions about how to pull together, and I don't have any answers. Just the observation that in our society, one...

It occurs to me that there's nothing new about a family that has three or four parents... Lots of families split up, find new partners, and continue being a family because of the children these days. They work together and continue to be friends, and from the outside or the child's perspective...

I knew about polyamory from friends, but my spouse encouraged us to try it in order to get his needs met. What didn't work well: his desire to move quickly, and thus I missed out on time to really sort out what would work for me and what would not. This was frustrating for both of us, and was...

Sex-positive? I've heard terms such as sex-positive (and even sex-negative) used on the boards lately. I gather there is a sex-positive movement? Would those with greater understanding than myself please comment on what the terms mean, and what the underlying purpose of the message is?

Yeah, I set it to archive them instead of going to my inbox just now, but the email from your post came through...:confused: maybe you squeaked in right under the wire?

Oh, I see. I hadn't "subscribed" to anything. It just emails me every time someone responds to something I've written, and THAT is what I'd like to avoid.