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Because I had always wanted to have a sexual relationship with a woman and the opportunity doesn't present itself very often. She was a bitch, but she had a smokin' body and I thought if she was going to force herself into my life and my marriage, I might as well get something out of it.

Yeah, I get it. I realize I did not paint a pretty picture. And I agree. He does need help figuring out how to be happy on his own. I've encouraged him to go to therapy alone and with me. But, he believes that he's not unhappy, but rather grieving the loss of a love. The day to day stuff just...

CP, I wish I had had your insight 4 years ago when my husband first told me he loved someone else. What a long, hard journey it has been. Even, now, though, reading of this point you've come to, I feel hopeful that he and I will continue to grow.

SNeacail, thanks for you reply. Can you explain why you think it sounds abusive? Generally, my husband is pretty supportive. But, he does get needy and critical of me at times, which I'm learning is really just an expression of his own insecurities. I was wondering, though, what you picked up on...

Paring this down Sorry I was long-winded and may have sounded hostile. My basic question is: How do you help your partner when his secondary partner dumps him? Also, it's not that I don't want a poly relationship that includes us both or in which I am an equal participant. I do. But, I think...

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