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I have to agree with everyone else here.. Let her go. For me, it would be a matter of self respect. While some of what you're going through resonates with my particular situation, and I totally understand having patience with someone who needs time to process, what she seems to be looking for...

I'm pretty sure I should be here. I'm in love with my wife, and I'm pretty dang sure I've fallen for our friend. We're going slowly, very slowly, and its hard... A lot of talking, a lot of patience, a lot of confusion, a lot of fear to overcome, and a lot of societal programming to undo.. But...

Thanks. That helps. I tend to dislike labels, as it leads me to focus on trying to grok the meaning of the label, rather than the situation. So, yes, I'm looking to move towards a situation where we are living polyamorously. There is still a label there, but it circumvents the self-label - not...

Wow. A huge number of very valuable responses. Thank you so much. There is enough here that I'm going to need to move to my pc to respond - the original was on my phone, but it handles a lot of stuff (quoting, copy/paste, etc) poorly. The short version is thus... My wife and I are talking...

It's funny.. Reading this board, it always seems so clear that people are sure they are poly (or not). There is this air of.. Confidence. Yes, some people say, I identify as poly. Others say they are mono. But, what is in between? Is there an in between? I'm trying to figure that out...