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What prompted us to actually open our marriage. --------------------------------------------------------- For 15 years we COULD screw around but neither of us bothered. The reason was partly that we are heavy people and so sexy young things were not throwing themselves at us. But mainly, we...

This is an index to reviews of poly books I have written. Open: Love, Sex & life in an Open Marriage The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilites The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life as an Act of Love - Part 1 The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life as an Act of Love - Part 2 One Big...

Hi all, I'm going to temp the fates, tempt the gods of irony, tempt both Murphy and Jinx - by saying that my wife and I are pretty much ideally set up for a polyamorous relationship. You can follow this blog and see if the gods mock me and my over confident hopes in the future. Me: Male 47...

The other posters have given some wise advice. I would just like to add, that if you open your heart to this other woman, it could one day be a lifesaver for you to have another person who loves you. I wish you every kindness and hope your health improves. Warm regards, Rick

Hi Vandalin, everyone. I expect that this post won't help at all, but here I go. It seems to me you're just tormenting yourself. I would drop him and move on. If only our hearts listened to such logic. When I was in high school I was totally in love with this girl who had no interest...

Hi Tesseract, I agree with what Breathesgirl said. Also, your wife may be having some new relationship energy (NRE), which puts a glow around their new love. When your love is having NRE, it is easy to feel insecure in general. There is nothing juvenile in your feelings. You feel what you...

Hi CFstasha, You need to sit down and TALK to your husband! Reassure him a LOT that he means the world to you. Explain NRE (new relationship energy) is making you giddy. Let him know that you are worried it might be too much for him to take. Ask him if there is something you can do to help...

Hi lvchris, Welcome to the forums! I am troubled that he slept with her before you were OK with it. I am also troubled that he 'rewarded' her after she was rude to you. Other than that, your start is pretty much the way a lot of people here started with slightly uneasy beginnings. I am a...

Hi all, If people could define their abbreviations at least once, it would be easier for all of us. Hi Snarz, Welcome to the forums. :-) If GAD means General Anxiety Disorder, then I totally agree with Grounded Spirit. This needs to be dealt with. Poly puts relationships under a...

2010, March 8th. Hi Everyone, I'm a male and married to a wonderful woman 15 years. We were poly-open (non-practicing) from the wedding night onward. (We could have outside relationships - needed the OK of the other partner.) But neither of us seriously tried to connect to anyone during...

Hi Vexxed, I've read this thread with great interest. Earlier you said that there is ranking happening in the dating scene, and you think that a lot of poly people are fooling themselves if they disagree. My wife and I are poly-dating now, so I appreciate what you are saying. But I think...

Hi Bruinjer, I found your post so short, it is hard for me to understand what is going on. With no sense of the dynamics, and not clearly understanding what you mean by commitment, it is very hard to offer anything useful to you. Warm regards, Rick.

Hi Vexed, I really feel for you. It is hard for me to sympathize with your wife's point of view, because I think her rules are unreasonable. The other thing is some people are forever unwilling to forgive and forget. Say, for example, that you avoid looking at porn 5 years - is she the type...

My experiences with 'casual' sex have generally been very positive. I was never one to find it super easy to get laid, so I always treated my lovers with great respect. About half the time my one night stands turned into 3 & 4 night stands and then into very nice relationships. However, my...

I'm married, so I get it out early. 1) I don't waste their time if they are not interested. 2) They don't see my wedding ring and think I'm sleazy. ;)

Hi Rachel303, I have to agree with Quath. His comments are a lot wiser than the hot-headed response I was tempted to write. A number of people on this forum have pointed out that working on polyamorous relationships tends to magnify and intensify the problems and pleasures in existing...

Hi vundabra/dakid, The thing that strikes me most from the paragraphs quoted above is that you want him to commit to the ups and downs of a deep relationship, and he is not there yet. It is a bit like, "Do I marry this drinker and hope he stops?" Any relationship with this guy is a gamble. You...

Dear ak2381, I feel for you, this is awful. Polyamory is not supposed to be like this. It is supposed to be about honesty and respect. They have cheated and lied to you and you have every right to feel betrayed, angry and six kinds of terrible. The fact that you are finding some hope and...

Hi ImaginaryIllusion, I've been thinking that once I finish reading back posts, I will contribute a few book reviews to the site and talk about our (my wife's and mine) experiences in a somewhat blog like. My wife and I don't care about being out, (which is why I used my real, full name) but...

Hi everyone, I'm reading, slowly but surely, all of the posts on the site. (At least the new to poly threads.) When done, I'll post lots... unless I don't have to anymore. :)