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  1. M

    LDR challenges with going from friends to partners

    You're right, that wasn't well stated. I appreciate the reflection! I guess I was thinking that it seemed clear from the writing that the situation was not what she wanted, but that's not at all what I said.
  2. M

    Hiii

    For sure! I'm brand new to understanding it as poly, but I'm realizing I've used this model in the past with undefined relationships, both in having multiple close "partners" in different roles, as an end point in a quasi-romantic V, and in unicorn experiences of both swinger and poly types. So...
  3. M

    LDR challenges with going from friends to partners

    It sounds like you are listening to your intuition and your needs, and that you know what you want. Hopefully your needs will align with his and with some communication you might find you're interested in the same level of contact.
  4. M

    Long post about hardships in trying to make (first time) non-monogamy work

    It's so great that you were able to recognize the conditioned response you were stuck in! That's truly the way to freedom, being able to choose how we react outside of old patterns. Feeling stuck in loops can be like two people's issues aligning to keep replaying the injuries over and over...
  5. M

    Hiii

    Happy to if I can help, what can I do? ☀️
  6. M

    Hiii

    Welcome Cat! I just got here myself but I can tell you these folx are warm and kind. ☀️ Hope you find what you need here!
  7. M

    Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

    So beautiful So beautiful mono! Thank you for the encouragement to be courageous in self discovery and healing. I'm so glad you felt more free after exposing those blocks!
  8. M

    Warm hello

    I ordered the book ✨ thanks!!
  9. M

    Newbie, boyfriend expressed need for solo poly

    It probably is an ideal right now, having been freed from being the worst thing that could happen, now it sounds great! I want my kids to see that living open heartedly is the only way to be really alive, and yes it is hard at times. Thank you for inviting me to continue with updates. Honestly...
  10. M

    Warm hello

    Yeah Kevin, it definitely feels like moving past the "you don't love me" feeling was about prior conditioning. It feels like this is more authentic to me and a remembering more than a learning. Having to predetermine what any connection will be or opting out of enriching experiences for the sake...
  11. M

    Warm hello

    Hi! I'm Meli. I am new to poly (in conscious defined terms because I've had my share of close friendships and roommates that would have been more if allowed) and currently have one partner who identifies as solo. I'm a single/divorced mom of two littles. I'm really grateful to be shedding the...
  12. M

    Newbie, boyfriend expressed need for solo poly

    You really hit the issue dead on when you were talking about desperately needing clarity. I was half fighting to do just what you'd suggested, and half fighting not to. I just couldn't make sense of what was going on because what we were saying didn't seem to match what we were doing. Being able...
  13. M

    Newbie, boyfriend expressed need for solo poly

    It totally did feel like a big ol demotion lovebunny! I was bereft! I'm a little embarrassed that only two days later it's all switched again, but that's partly because I was able to air my concerns here and reread them and process. Thank you very much for your kind reflection/compliment.
  14. M

    Newbie, boyfriend expressed need for solo poly

    Hey Kevin, Thanks for your thoughts. I actually feel like part of what I'm doing in walking this more difficult path is modeling well for my kids. It would be far easier to say this is too hard to figure out and go find a fill in dad to play house with. But I've learned enough about the poly way...
  15. M

    Newbie, boyfriend expressed need for solo poly

    I appreciate your responses in so many posts, and wanted to thank you for how much work you put into guiding newbies and others Thank you for acknowledging the miscarriage. That's definitely a big unpacked part of this story. I think when we decided to move forward with building a traditional...
  16. M

    Newbie, boyfriend expressed need for solo poly

    I appreciate your responses in so many posts, and wanted to thank you for how much work you put into guiding newbies and others.
  17. M

    Newbie, boyfriend expressed need for solo poly

    Update: things shift fast when people wait for clarity and communicate. Thank you all for your responses! It was really great to have a place to come and share concerns and feel cared for. This is a scary and hard thing to figure out at first. I won't respond individually just because things...
  18. M

    Newbie, boyfriend expressed need for solo poly

    I think he's scared that he will feel more confused or pulled back into the "coupleship" identity. He's only just created this space for himself, which I had to sense the need for and invite him to communicate because he was feeling guilty about his needs. So I hope it's just temporary, but I...
  19. M

    I cheated on my partner. I don't know if I should leave

    Have you been able to get down to the reason why you didn't tell? There is a deeper issue in the relationship. It sounds like the love between you is still strong and deserves a chance to heal. When arguments are circular, we are missing the real problem.
  20. M

    Newbie, boyfriend expressed need for solo poly

    I'm not completely surprised by the news that my boyfriend is expressing a need for a change in our relationship, but I still don't know what to do. He originally told me he was interested in polyamory and I said in theory I could see that working and I'd let him know if the relationship meet...
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