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  1. madgrey

    Poly Journalizing!

    A quick followup thought on something I wrote last night.... For me, this is super bad news, when I "fall" all over Vino like this. Lately, it only happens when I'm deeply hurt. But for the first decade or so of our relationship, I depended totally and solely on him for emotional support. And...
  2. madgrey

    Poly Journalizing!

    So...the therapist thing. This will be longwinded, in part to answer your question, and in part because I kinda want to talk about it anyway. I'm lucky in two respects: first, I have insurance with strong mental health benefits, and second, I've had VERY good experiences addressing...
  3. madgrey

    Hi from Anna

    Hi Anna! Just wanted to say I feel you on the small town. I'm from a similar background, and it wasn't until my mid-twenties that I had any conception of a valid relationship beyond strict monogamy. I still struggle with mono-normative thinking at times. The social pressures to conform in a...
  4. madgrey

    Poly Journalizing!

    Short update. Found a poly-friendly therapist! I've been looking for one for a while, with no luck--everyone's been booked solid. The first session went really well, although it did leave me missing Tom much more than before. I think it was just a product of thinking about him for the...
  5. madgrey

    Poly Journalizing!

    Okay. I sent the cute guy a message. Let's see if he replies. Que sera sera. **twitches with anxiety**
  6. madgrey

    Change in all the areas of my life...

    FWIW, this sounds amazing, covid or no. Happy birthday to the smol person! 🥳
  7. madgrey

    Poly Journalizing!

    Couple thoughts for today. FIRST. A bit of a plot twist involving a red flag in my relationship with Tom. He had an ex with borderline personality disorder--she dropped him, very abruptly. When he and I got involved, they hadn't spoken in a year and a half. He seemed...exceptionally fond of...
  8. madgrey

    Any good apps/website for meet ups?

    I'm thinking of giving Feeld a try. If I do, I'll report back. I downloaded it a while back, but the registration was a little glitchy, so I gave up on it. Might try again. It seems a bit edgy for my usual tastes, but it's indisputably enm-focused, which hooked me.
  9. madgrey

    Poly Journalizing!

    Hi there! I've been discussing stuff over in the Introductions thread, but I think it's time to start a journal. I don't want to start this with the ghosting/relationship stuff, though--it's getting to me today, and I'd rather not dwell on it more than I have, for now. I'll go there later...
  10. madgrey

    Need community!

    I stopped following him on Twitter (I actually blocked the whole site using time-management software a little over a month ago), and I don't do FB. However. We met through a big online writers' forum when I joined back in 2013ish, and we've both been active members since. We were platonic...
  11. madgrey

    Need community!

    YEP. Oh my gosh, yep. And with covid happening, that's right where my mind went--that he was sick, or someone in his family was sick, or he was super stressed and overwhelmed and needed either judgment-free kindness, or space. So for the first three months or so, I sent occasional "thinking of...
  12. madgrey

    Toxic Monogamy Culture

    Oh gosh, this. It leads to so much non-communication and wishful lying, even in Monogamyland. There's a subtle but ESSENTIAL difference between delivering information gently, and sugarcoating it into non-existence in a misguided attempt to protect a partner's feelings.
  13. madgrey

    Need community!

    It isn't! It happens, but he's excellent at managing it. He's universally warm and friendly toward my partners, and he ended up good friends with one metamour a number of years ago. This was an unusual case. He got a "bad feeling" about this person (we'll call this person Tom)--he stated some...
  14. madgrey

    Need community!

    Yes, this! Exactly! One of my last messages to him was asking, clearly and directly, for gentle closure. Alas, no reply. My best guess, knowing him, is that he wanted to end things (for whatever reason) but didn't have the communication skills or emotional fortitude to do so--and so he just...
  15. madgrey

    Need community!

    Hi all! My name's Sarah. My husband and I spent our first thirteen years monogamous. About a decade ago, I fell in love with a friend and we gradually transitioned--with quite a lot of negotiation--to polyamory. That first relationship ended, but we kept the poly. :) I'm here mostly because I...
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