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  1. P

    Would really like some advice

    Boundaries are something that apply to yourself, not other people. It's a description of what you're comfortable with. I'd steer clear of language like what you would 'let her' do. She's going to do what she's going to do, but she'll make her decisions with the knowledge of how you feel, if you...
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    a VERY overdue update

    Thanks Kevin and GalaGirl! Yeah it is pretty great. Honestly it's for the best nothing happened with Boston, on reflection he would have been a terrible candidate for poly, as he had his own issues. I'm very much over it now. Really, the best thing that came from all that is this extra free...
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    a VERY overdue update

    TLDR: Nothing happened with Boston, Jake and I are awesome, we're having a baby in just under two months' time, we have a close friend as a housemate who has just started something with Jake, compersion is real and everything is awesome.
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    a VERY overdue update

    The lockdown in our city got really, really intense. But inside our cosy little home in the forest, we were having a great time. During the day, some days I'd be at home, some days I wasn't (essential work), likewise with Jake. Georgie was entirely work from home. In the day time, if home, we'd...
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    a VERY overdue update

    I disappeared for quite a bit there, here's my original thread https://polyamory.com/threads/seriously-considering-polyamory-how-to-decide-how-to-start-the-conversation.116169/page-2#post-422053 So long that I had to split into two parts. the TLDR is at the bottom of part 2. So yeah, things...
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    Seriously considering polyamory. How to decide? How to start the conversation?

    Time for an update. Well, taking in your advice and considering things, I decided to go with: * Stop feeling guilty just for having feelings. That's irrational. * Be my own person. (i.e. not a 'personblob' ) This has been pretty good, e.g. I've been discovering the music that *I* actually...
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    Seriously considering polyamory. How to decide? How to start the conversation?

    Would he know who I find attractive? That's an odd one - he knows what kind of people I like. I have loads of male friends. Almost all my friends are male because I'm in a male-dominated field. I sort of collect friends then bring them home, I'm the social organizer. Jake's friends are almost...
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    Seriously considering polyamory. How to decide? How to start the conversation?

    Super on point here people, thank you so much. I'll try and summarize what I'm hearing, the main points: * New baby & new poly : terrible combination. That makes complete sense. Agreed. * Do some reading. * It doesn't have to be a sudden change, it could be gradual. * either way, it's always...
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    Primary Relationship or Nothing?

    I can't speak for the OP, but for me, it would be something like - The person you call if you've just been in a car accident. The first person you tell when you get that job offer. The person who feels this way about you too.
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    Seriously considering polyamory. How to decide? How to start the conversation?

    Hello! My partner (let's call him Jake) and I have been together for ten years; we have a very good relationship. We bought a house last year and are thinking to start a family fairly soon. I've thought about poly before and it did appeal but it didn't seem worth the risk to our relationship...
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